The Bishônen Warriors
by BSFlash
Summary: A parody of Sailor Moon and Ronin Warriors, with a bit of dubbed DBZ stupidity. When Trix Rabbit takes over the Land of Cereals, who ya gonna call? The Bishônen Warriors! Featuring forgotten Warriors, evil bishônen, and ludicrously powerful ugrades and
1. The Origin

Bishônen Warriors  
The Origin  
  
King Honey Bee scowled as his own guards threw him into the sugary   
prison cell. "Why are you doing this?" he buzzed. "I order you to stop!"  
  
The Cheerio Knights paid him no attention. A white rabbit stepped   
forward out of the darkness. "Poor, poor Honey Bee," he said, "it's a shame   
to see you thrown into prison like this."  
  
"Why, Trix Rabbit? Why have you done this?"  
  
"My reasons are very simple: I want Trix!"  
  
"Then why don't you just ask for them?"  
  
Trix Rabbit pulled on his ears in frustration. "I do ask, dammit!   
Those stupid precocious brats never let me have them! They always make me   
look like an ass and say 'Silly rabbit, Trix are for kids.' Well I'm sick of   
that! Trix will no longer be for kids once I'm in control! Trix are for me,   
and only me! Bwa-hahaha!"  
  
King Honey Bee quivered in fear. Trix Rabbit had obviously snapped,   
and there was no telling what he would do once he controlled the Land of   
Cereal...  
  
***  
  
"Lucky, Lucky!" Sugar Bear shouted as he ran into the leprechaun's   
laboratory.  
  
"What do ye want?" Lucky asked, perturbed because his experiment was   
ruined thanks to Sugar Bear.  
  
"Trix Rabbit has gone berserk, and he's overthrown King Honey Bee.   
Everyone else from the General Mills Branch has been captured except for you,   
and he's starting on Quaker and Post!"  
  
"This isn't good. We'll have to move to the safety of Corn Pops   
Valley until we can find a plan to stop that psycho rabbit."  
  
***  
  
Trix Rabbit pranced happily up and down the cell block where he'd imprisoned   
the children, singing "Trix are for me, Trix are for me, listen stupid little   
kids, Trix are for me, Trix are for me..."  
  
"Hey Rabbit!" shouted Snap from his cell.  
  
"We can help you if you let us out!" Crackled said.  
  
"We'll be your loyal generals!" Pop added.  
  
"No!" Snap and Crackle did their best to stifle their younger   
brother. Trix Rabbit stopped for a moment and smiled.  
  
"Hmm, that's not a bad idea," he mused.  
  
"D'oh!" Snap and Crackle exclaimed, pounding their brother over the   
head with large mallets.  
  
Trix Rabbit put a paw to his chin. "If I have other servants under   
my command, then I could amass an army large enough to invade the Land Beyond   
Cereal! Bwa-hahaha!!! You, Tony the Tiger, bring me some Trix now!"  
  
Tony bowed and ran off to find some of the aforementioned cereal.   
Trix Rabbit started rubbing his hands together. "Yes, this will work out   
perfectly. And all I must do now is capture Sugar Bear and Lucky the   
Leprechaun," he said darkly. He whirled around and pointed a paw at the Rice   
Crispies brothers. "You there, my new generals, send out the Cheerio Knights   
and find Lucky!"  
  
"Uh, you kinda gotta let us out before we can do anything," Snap   
said.  
  
"Oh, sorry." Trix Rabbit walked up and unlocked their cell door.   
"Now go, and if you betray me, then I'll have your heads on a stick!"  
  
"Yes sir!" the Rice Crispies brothers saluted as they ran off to get   
armor, swords, and the dreaded Cheerio Knights.  
  
***  
  
Meanwhile, in Corn Pops Valley, Lucky and Sugar Bear had just finished   
building their base of operations. "How do ye like it?" Lucky asked as they   
surveyed their work. "I think it's splendid."  
  
"It's groovy," Sugar Bear commented. "Now what should we call it?"  
  
"How about... Lucky Fortress!"  
  
"No way, man, I like Sugar Base."  
  
Lucky fumed. "Why don't we just call it the Fortress of Cereals???"  
  
Sugar Bear gave his approval with two thumbs up. "So what are we   
gonna do now, Lucky? There's no way the two of us can hold off Trix Rabbit's   
entire Cheerio Army. He's got four branches to send against us!"  
  
"I know," Lucky said. "That's why I'm going to form a team of   
skilled warriors to fight them."  
  
"And where do you propose we get these warriors, hmm?" Sugar Bear   
asked.  
  
Lucky pointed up to the giant rectangular opening in the sky. "From   
the Land Beyond Cereal."  
  
***  
  
Shinzô Tamashii yawned and stretched his arms as he walked into the kitchen.   
"Well," he said, rubbing the sleep from his eyes, "it looks like I'm alone   
again this morning." He sat down at the table and finished rubbing his eyes   
before searching for something to eat. Shinzô reached into the cabinet and   
pulled out a red box.  
  
"Ah, Lucky Charms," he said with a smile, "is there any better   
cereal?"  
  
As he opened the box, Shinzô noticed a strange glow from inside.   
When he looked inside, a hand reached out and pulled him in. Shinzô didn't   
have time to scream as he was dragged into another world.  
  
***  
  
When he came to, Shinzô found himself surrounded by some familiar people.   
"What's going on?" he asked.  
  
Ki Tsuki, one of Shinzô's closest friends, turned and looked at him.   
"I think maybe Lucky should explain," he said, helping Shinzô up.  
  
Shinzô looked at the people around him: Ki Tsuki, Hoshi Hikari,   
Kurôbâ Kôun, Daiya Mondo, and Umakutsu Keru; these were his best friends from   
school, and Shinzô wondered what they were all doing together. "Maybe I'm   
dreaming," he told himself.  
  
"No, this isn't a dream," said a little Irishman as he walked in,   
"this is quite real, and serious."  
  
"If it's so serious," Kurôbâ said, "then why are you dressed like   
Lucky the Leprechaun?"  
  
"Because I am Lucky the Leprechaun."  
  
"Then what are we doing here?" Hoshi asked.  
  
"I brought the six of you here to help the Land of Cereal. You are   
to become the Bishônen Warriors of Lucky Charms."  
  
At this, the six teens burst out laughing. "Bishônen Warriors?"   
Daiya asked. "Of Lucky Charms? Man, someone ought to have you committed,   
man."  
  
Lucky fumed, and produced six bracers, each with a colored shape on   
it. He handed the one with a pink heart to Shinzô, the one with a yellow   
moon to Ki, the one with an orange star to Hoshi, the one with a green clover   
to Kurôbâ, the one with a blue diamond to Daiya, and the one with a purple   
horseshoe to Umakutsu.  
  
"What are these for?" Shinzô asked.  
  
"Put those one and say the color and name of your shape," Lucky   
explained. "You will be turned into the Bishônen Warriors, fighters for   
justice. I will be your guide, along with Sugar Bear."  
  
"So you expect us to just believe it?" Umakutsu asked. "You pulled   
us through cereal boxes to make us some armor-clad super heroes?"  
  
Lucky nodded. "The fate of the Land of Cereal is in your hands now.   
You can choose to disbelieve what I say and never return home, or you can   
cooperate and eventually return to your world. It's your choice."  
  
Sugar Bear rushed in and tried to catch his breath. "Lucky, Trix   
Rabbit has turned Snap, Crackle and Pop against us. He's sent them out along   
with his Cheerio Knights!"  
  
"Which branch of Cheerio Knights?"  
  
"The Honey Nut Cheerio Knights," Sugar Bear said gravely.  
  
Lucky turned to the six teens. "So, what will it be?"  
  
Shinzô looked down at the bracer in his hand. Despite the fact that   
the pink heart made him look like a pansy, he put it on. "I'll help," he   
said.  
  
"Me too," Ki added, putting on his bracer.  
  
"As will I," Hoshi said, doing the same.  
  
Soon, all six teens agreed to help and had put on their bracers.   
"You know what to do now," Lucky said with a nod.  
  
"Bishônen Lucky Charms roll call!" Shinzô declared. "Pink Hearts!"  
  
"Yellow Moons!" Ki shouted.  
  
"Orange Stars!" Hoshi shouted.  
  
"Green Clovers!" Kurôbâ shouted.  
  
"Blue Diamonds!" Daiya shouted.  
  
"Purple Horseshoes!" Umakutsu shouted.  
  
There were six flashes of light, and when the brightness cleared, the   
six teenagers were dressed in the armor of their particular color. The   
outfit consisted of a colored chest plate with their respective shape on it,   
two colored shoulder plates, and two colored bracers emblazoned with their   
shape.  
  
Everyone but Shinzô was happy with their armor. Shinzô merely looked   
down at his pink armor with tears streaming down his face. "I-it's pink!" he   
shouted.  
  
"Is there a problem with that?" Lucky asked. "You are Pink Hearts   
after all.  
  
"It makes me look like a pansy!" Shinzô declared.  
  
"Like you don't already," Daiya said with a wry smile.  
  
"Heart Bow and Arrow!" Shinzô shouted.  
  
A pink bow appeared in his hands, and had an arrow of pink energy   
ready to fire. The arrowhead was shaped like a heart. Shinzô prepared to   
fire when Lucky kicked him in the shins. "Boy, not now! Save it for the   
Cheerio Knights!" Lucky declared.  
  
"How'd he do that?" Hoshi asked.  
  
"You each have your own weapon according to your shape. When the   
time comes, you'll know how to call it for use. Now go an stop those   
Cheerios!"  
  
Shinzô's pink sugar bow disappeared, and he ran out with the rest of   
the Bishônen Warriors. Sugar Bear watched them leave in despair. "Are you   
sure it was right to use teenagers to stop Trix Rabbit?" he asked.  
  
"Who better? Especially Shinzô. If I know Snap, Crackle and Pop,   
they'll laugh their asses off at his armor. Shinzô will get pissed, and use   
his Heart Bow and Arrow to destroy them. This is the best idea I've had   
yet!"  
  
"Of course it's the best; that's because it's the only idea you've   
ever had that's worked."  
  
Lucky growled, and Sugar Bear immediately fled the room. He went to   
his monitor and watched the progress of the Bishônen Warriors. "Don't get   
yourselves killed," he said disgustedly.  
  
***  
  
Snap and Crackle trudged along angrily, while Pop happily marched alongside   
the Cheerio Knights. "Stupid big mouth idiot," Snap muttered.  
  
"Pop, this is all your fault," Crackle cursed. "We're going to   
killed, and all because you offered to make all three of us his generals.   
You are such an idiot!"  
  
Crackle pulled out a mallet and slammed Pop over the head. After   
regaining his senses, Pop defended himself. "Hey, it's this or rotting in   
that prison like everyone else," he said.  
  
"We'd prefer living longer in the prison cell!" Snap and Crackle   
shouted together as they pounded him again with their mallets.  
  
"Hey look," Pop said, "it's those people we were sent to kill."  
  
Snap and Crackle peered into the distance. "Uh, how many people were   
missing?" Snap asked.  
  
"Two," Crackle replied.  
  
"Then why are there six people coming toward us?"  
  
"Uh… no idea."  
  
"Attack!" Pop ordered.  
  
"No, not yet!" Snap and Crackle yelled in unison, giving Pop yet   
another set of lumps on his head. "We need to wait until we know who they   
are!"  
  
***  
  
"Hey look, there they are," Yellow Moons said.  
  
"Yep, that's gotta be them," Blue Diamonds agreed. "After all, who   
in their right mind would dress up like Snap, Crackle and Pop?"  
  
Green Clovers was about to answer when Purple Horseshoes interrupted,   
"And the Cheerio Knights are right behind them."  
  
"Well, we should get our weapons ready then," Pink Hearts said.   
"Heart Bow and Arrow!"  
  
"Moon Glaive!"  
  
"Star Mace!"  
  
"Clover Discus!"  
  
"Diamond Cutter!"  
  
"Horseshoe Magnet!"  
  
The weapons appeared in the hands of the Bishônen Warriors, and they   
charged forward.  
  
***  
  
"Oh look, here they come," Pop chimed in a weird voice. "Can we attack now?"  
  
Snap raised his mallet and shot it forward. "Charge!" he ordered.  
  
The Cheerio Knights readied their pikes and rushed at the Bishônen   
Warriors. Pink Hearts raised his bow and fired. The pink arrow sailed   
through the air, leaving a trail of sugar behind it. It struck one of the   
Cheerio Knights and caused an explosion that took out five other knights.  
  
"Wow, good shot," Orange Stars said.  
  
Blue Diamonds held up his Diamond Cutter and started using the dagger   
to slash at the enemies that had gathered around him. Suddenly, a green   
object flew by and sliced through each Cheerio Knight. They fell to the   
ground and exploded. Green Clovers retrieved his discus and prepared to   
launch another attack.  
  
Purple Horseshoes sidestepped a stabbing attack from one of the   
knights, and he raised his magnet. The Cheerio Knight exploded as   
electricity shot from the magnet. Purple Horseshoes turned and aimed at a   
line of Cheerio Knights. He released the electric energy, and the Cheerio   
Knights were destroyed in a burst of purple sugar.  
  
"These Cheerio Knights are useless," Crackle said. "Cheerio Knights,   
retreat! We'll show you how to really fight."  
  
Orange Stars rushed Crackle and connected his mace with the mallet   
held by the general. "So, you want to take us on by yourselves, huh?" Orange   
Stars asked. "I'd like to see you try, elf-boy."  
  
Crackle simply distracted Orange Stars while Snap utilized his   
mallet. The orange-clad bishônen fell to the ground with a large lump   
protruding from his orange-tinted hair. Snap laughed. "That was too easy,"   
he said.  
  
Streams of blue energy slammed into Snap from behind, and he fell to   
the ground, unconscious. Blue Diamonds stood behind him, his dagger glowing   
with blue sugar energy. "No, that was too easy!" he laughed.  
  
Crackle fumed. "You think you're so smart!" he shouted. "Just who   
the hell are you?"  
  
The five remaining Bishônen Warriors grouped together. "We're the   
Bishônen Warriors of Lucky Charms!" they said in unison.  
  
Crackle saw Shinzô's armor and hair for the first time, and started   
laughing. He fell to the ground, holding his gut and trying to control his   
laughing. Pink Hearts fumed. "What's so funny?" he demanded.  
  
"You're a boy, right? Then why the heck are you wearing pink armor?   
And why is your hair pink? You look like a freaking pansy!" Crackle said   
between belly laughs.  
  
Pink Hearts fumed and aimed his Heart Bow and fired the pink sugar   
arrow. Crackle was consumed by the pink energy, and his body was thrown to   
the horizon. Despite the pain he was in, he continued laughing. Pop decided   
to not take his chances and ran away with the Cheerio Knights. Snap got up   
and followed suit. Orange Stars got to his feet and rubbed his head.  
  
"Man, those mallets hurt!" he exclaimed.  
  
"Ha, we won!" Blue Diamonds gloated.  
  
"Let's power down," Pink Hearts said.  
  
"And how are we supposed to do that?" Green Clovers demanded.  
  
Pink Hearts clacked his bracers together, and he reverted into Shinzô   
Tamashii.. The others decided to do the same, and they reverted into their   
regular identities. The six bishônens stood there. Daiya scratched his   
head. Ki looked around. "So, uh, what do we do now?" Kurôbâ asked.  
  
"Do you think we can go home yet?" Umakutsu asked. "I'm getting kind   
of hungry."  
  
"Let's go ask Lucky," Hoshi suggested.  
  
***  
  
"Nope, you can't go home until you kill Trix Rabbit," Lucky said.  
  
"What, what, what!?" Ki exclaimed. "That sucks!"  
  
"Yes, well, I brought you here to fight his evil, and you aren't   
leaving until he's dead. If you don't like it, tough."  
  
Shinzô's shoulders drooped. "This blows," he muttered.  
  
"Excuse me?"  
  
"I said...uh... I hope it snows."  
  
"And why did you say that?"  
  
Shinzô smiled and pulled a sled from nowhere. "Because I like snow,   
you stupid green freak!"  
  
He slammed Lucky over the head with the sled, knocking the leprechaun   
out for the count. The five other bishônens clapped in merriment, and Shinzô   
just kept smiling. Sugar Bear walked in and saw Lucky out cold on the floor.   
"Heh, good job guys," he said in his stoner voice. "I think I'll like   
having you around."  
  
"Well," Umakutsu said, "if we get to do stuff like that every day, it   
might be worth staying here for a while after all!"  
  
And just to make it a cliché ending of every other   
super-powered-colored-costume-wearing-teenager-super-team show, everyone   
started laughing happily.  
  
============================================================================  
  
Disclaimer: All cereals and cereal personalities belong to their respective   
companies. I am merely using them for entertainment purposes and without   
permission. Don't sue, I have no money, and I'm just a high school student.   
Trix Rabbit and Trix belong to General Mills, as do Honey Bee, all forms of   
Cheerios, Cinnamon Toast Crunch, Lucky the Leprechaun, and Lucky Charms   
themselves. Sugar Bear and Golden Crisp are property of Post Cereals. Corn   
Pops, Snap, Crackle, Pop, Rice Crispies, and Tony the Tiger belong to   
Kellogg's. Pioneer belongs to itself, and they don't own the Dreamstation or   
the games for it, I do. I've included disclaimers for the small things that   
appear in certain episodes. Otherwise, everything else belongs to Bishônen   
Flash © 1999-2001. 


	2. Star in the Night

Bishônen Warriors  
Star in the Night  
  
Hoshi Hikari, formerly a student at Akami High School, is now a   
resident of the Land of Cereal, a Bishônen Warrior who goes by the name of   
Orange Stars; convenient because the armor matches his eyes and hair. But at   
the moment, he's the focus of an attack by the Cheerio Knights.  
  
"Damn, I should've asked someone to come out here with me," he   
muttered, cursing his stupidity in coming out to Cap'n Crunch's port for   
supplies. And now he was surrounded by Apple Cinnamon Cheerio Knights,   
making them harder to attack because of the spikes all over their bodies.  
  
Hoshi ducked and grabbed one of the Cheerio Knights despite the   
spikes. He swung the O-shaped monstrosity around and released it at another   
knight. He jumped out of the circle and tried to get some distance between   
himself and the Cheerio Knights. "I can't run forever," he said, "and I   
can't fight forever without any weapons."  
  
He tripped and fell flat on his face. Taking advantage of this, the   
Cheerio Knights started beating on him. Hoshi was helpless to resist, and   
soon found himself staring into nothing but black.  
  
  
"Hoshi's been captured," Sugar Bear said as he strolled into the control room   
with a note. "This is from Trix Rabbit. He says that if we don't surrender   
to him, he'll kill Hoshi."  
  
Lucky looked at the note. "Why doesn't Hoshi just call his Bishônen   
Armor?" he asked.  
  
Sugar Bear produced the bracer emblazoned with the orange star. "He   
sent the note in this."  
  
"Call in the Bishônen Warriors, Sugar Bear."  
  
Sugar Bear pressed a button on the panel, and the five remaining   
teens walked into the control room. "What is it?" Ki asked.  
  
Lucky held up the orange bracer. "Hoshi has been captured by Trix   
Rabbit," he explained.  
  
"What?!" Daiya exclaimed. "I'll kill the bas--"  
  
"What a turd!" Kurôbâ shouted.  
  
"We have to save him," Shinzô growled, gritting his teeth together.  
  
"Hold on," Sugar Bear said, "you can't just bust in on him. We need   
a plan to get Hoshi back, because if we do something irrational, they might   
kill him."  
  
Umakutsu fumed. Hoshi was his best friend, and he wasn't about to   
let some cartoon rabbit kill him. "Bishônen Lucky Charms roll call!" he   
shouted.  
  
"That's my line!" Shinzô exclaimed. "Anyway, Pink Hearts!"  
  
"Yellow Moons!" Ki declared.  
  
There was a pause where Hoshi would call him armor, then, "Green   
Clovers!" Kurôbâ shouted.  
  
"Blue Diamonds!" Daiya shouted.  
  
"Purple Horseshoes!" Umakutsu bellowed.  
  
"Hold on!" Lucky shouted at them.  
  
"Yeah, like I said, we need a plan," Sugar Bear said.  
  
"Our plan is to bust in and kill the rabbit, and save Hoshi," Green   
Clovers said. "We decided on that."  
  
"When?"  
  
"When we were transforming," Purple Horseshoes said. "Let's go!"  
  
Purple Horseshoes rushed out of the room, and the others followed   
him. Lucky slapped a hand to his forehead and groaned. "I'm starting to   
regret bringing them here," he muttered. "Sooner or later, they're going to   
get themselves killed with those stupid plans."  
  
  
"Let me go you stupid jerk!" Hoshi shouted at the prancing rabbit, who, as   
usual, was singing.  
  
Trix Rabbit leaned over and grinned darkly into the prison cell.   
"Shut up, turd, Trix are for me!" he shouted.  
  
Hoshi sat back against the wall and groaned. "Is this how he runs   
his kingdom? All he does is prance around singing!"  
  
Pop ran up to the Trix Rabbit. "Sire!" he shouted. "The Bishônen   
Warriors are coming to the palace to rescue their friend!"  
  
Trix Rabbit backhanded Pop, sending the general flying into the   
nearest wall. "Fool, don't interrupt me!" he shouted at his general. "If   
what you say is true, then do something about it yourself!"  
  
"Man, he really has flipped his lid," Hoshi muttered to himself.  
  
"Send out the Apple Cinnamon Cheerio Knights!"  
  
Pop jumped to his feet and saluted. "Yes, my liege."  
  
"You'll never get away with this," Hoshi said. "The Bishônen   
Warriors will surely triumph, even if I'm not there to help."  
  
Trix Rabbit pressed his face against the bars and leered at Hoshi.   
"Shut up, kid, Trix are for me," he hissed delightfully.  
  
Hoshi raised his foot and kicked Trix Rabbit in the face.  
  
  
Purple Horseshoes raised his Horseshoe Magnet and aimed it at the palace. A   
blast of purple sugar electricity was emitted from the horseshoe and it   
crashed onto the ramparts. As the masonry fell from the roof, the Cheerio   
Knights rushed out of the palace gates, carrying their cinnamon pikes.  
  
"No, we don't stop to fight!" Yellow Moons declared as he slashed   
through the nearest Cheerio Knights with his glaive. Three more powerful   
swings, and he had cut a path through the squad.  
  
Blue Diamonds swung his Diamond Cutter, releasing blue sugar energy   
into the midst of the remaining knights. "Let's go!" Green Clovers told him   
as everyone started filing into the castle.  
  
  
Trix Rabbit pulled his hair in frustration. "No, this can't be possible!" he   
shouted. "How is it that my Cheerio Knights managed to capture Orange Stars   
but failed to stop the other Bishônen Warriors?! Snap, Crackle, Pop! Go   
stop them before they reach their friend!"  
  
The three generals bowed. "Yes sir," they chimed in unison.  
  
The rabbit pounded his fist on the arm of the throne. "I'll kill   
those teenagers soon enough."  
  
  
"Where are they keeping Hoshi?" Pink Hearts demanded of a sentry Cheerio   
Knight.  
  
"I'll never talk, pink boy," the knight said.  
  
Yellow Moons held his glaive to where he thought was the Cheerio's   
neck. "Talk now, ring thing, or you're going to be nothing more than a few   
crumbs on the floor," he threatened.  
  
"Never."  
  
Yellow Moons jumped back and swung the glaive in a downward arc,   
implanting the blade into the floor. A streak of yellow sugar energy   
streamed from the blade and cut through the Cheerio Knight, reducing it to a   
pile of crumbs. Purple Horseshoes grabbed Yellow Moons by the shoulder and   
swung him around.  
  
"Just what do you think you're doing?" he demanded. "He was probably   
our only chance to find Hoshi!"  
  
"We could always split up and take the different halls until one of   
us finds him," Blue Diamonds rationalized.  
  
"Then that's what we'll do!" Green Clovers said. "Let's go!"  
  
Everyone else shrugged and split up, heading down the conveniently   
remaining five hallways. Snap, Crackle and Pop arrived at the seven-way   
intersection and split up, heading down the only three halls that led to the   
prison.  
  
"Heh, heh," Purple Horseshoes chuckled as he exited his tunnel and   
started following Snap. "Hoshi, I'm coming. And so are Yellow Moons and   
Blue Diamonds."  
  
As he and Snap started following the twisting turns of the hallway,   
Purple Horseshoes pulled out his magnet and took aim. Snap suddenly stopped   
when he heard the energy start crackling at the end of the magnet. As he   
turned, purple sugar energy crackled through the hallway and struck him down.   
Purple Horseshoes ran past, laughing his head off. "I don't need you to   
show me the way," he said, "because I'm sure I'll make it just fine!"  
  
Snap groaned and passed out.  
  
  
Hoshi looked up to the sound of scuffling in the hallway. He ran to the cell   
door and looked in both directions. To his left, Blue Diamonds was being   
chased by Pop and some Cheerio Knights, while Purple Horseshoes was   
approaching from the right. "Hoshi!" Purple Horseshoes shouted. "Hoshi,   
look what I've got!"  
  
He tossed the bracer at Hoshi, who immediately put it on. "Orange   
Stars!" he shouted. "Star Mace!"  
  
The armor and weapon appeared on Hoshi, and he backed away from the   
door. Swinging the mace, Orange Stars unleashed a ball of orange sugar   
energy. There was an explosion, and Orange Stars jumped into the hallway.   
"Blue Diamonds, duck!" he shouted, swinging the mace again.  
  
Another ball of energy sailed through the air and hit the Cheerio   
Knights, disintegrating them. Pop materialized his mallet and prepared to   
attack. Blue Diamonds pulled out the Diamond Cutter and stabbed it into the   
mallet's handle. "What do you think you're doing with that oversized toy?"   
he asked Pop.  
  
"I'm going to kill you with it," Pop replied angrily as he released   
the mallet and swung again.  
  
Blue Diamonds was caught in the side of the head and thrown into the   
wall. Purple Horseshoes released the magnet's electricity and fried the   
general. Pop, however, was unrelenting. He charged forward and smashed the   
Horseshoe Magnet, using the upswing to take out Purple Horseshoes in the   
process.  
  
Orange Stars swung at Pop, connecting the mace with the mallet. Pop   
swung back, and Orange Stars blocked it. Orange Stars swung low, and Pop   
jumped, swinging his mallet as he went. Orange Stars was hit over the head,   
and his body slumped to the floor.  
  
"Heart Bow and Arrow!"  
  
A pink sugar heart arrow hit Pop in the back, causing a small pink   
explosion. Pink Hearts rushed into the hallway to find three of his comrades   
unconscious on the floor. Crackle appeared from the darkness at the other   
end of the hallway. "And what have we here?" the general asked, summoning   
his mallet. "Could it be a lone Bishônen Warrior for me to kill?"  
  
Pink Hearts raised his bow and took aim. "You can't kill me if I   
kill you first," he said. "And I'm not alone."  
  
Yellow Moons appeared behind Crackle and swung his glaive. The blade   
of yellow energy cut through Crackle's body, and he fell to his knees. "You   
won't win so easily," he said before he passed out.  
  
"It's a good thing I heard all the noise they were making," Pink   
Hearts said as he rushed to the aide of the others.  
  
"I did too," said Green Clovers as he emerged from the darkness.  
  
"Let's get these guys back to the base," Yellow Moons suggested. "I   
would normally suggest we kill Trix Rabbit right here and now, but we're in   
no condition to do that."  
  
Pink Hearts and Green Clovers nodded in agreement as they lifted   
Orange Stars and Purple Horseshoes onto their shoulders. "Let's go," Pink   
Hearts said.  
  
  
The three injured bishônen laid in the infirmary at the Fortress of Cereals.   
"How are you feeling?" Lucky asked.  
  
"As good as anyone who's been brained by a big-ass mallet," Daiya   
replied, rubbing his bandaged head.  
  
"Same goes for me," Hoshi said.  
  
Umakutsu would've said something, but his jaw was bandaged up,   
preventing him from speaking.  
  
And, as is cliché, everyone started laughing cheerfully, for no   
apparent reason.  
  
"Ow, that hurts," Daiya groaned. Umakutsu hmphed in agreement. 


	3. Introducing the Monster-of-the-Week

Bishônen Warriors  
Introducing the Monster-of-the-Week  
  
"Bunch of idiots," Trix Rabbit muttered as Snap, Crackle and Pop   
collided in their rush to enter the throne room. "I'm surrounded by a bunch   
of idiots."  
  
"You called us, sire?" Snap asked.  
  
"I bet you've got a punishment set up for us because of our failures,   
right?" Pop asked.  
  
"Not right!" Snap and Crackle shouted as they pounded their sibling   
into the floor.  
  
"Actually, that's not a bad idea," Trix Rabbit said thoughtfully. He   
shook his head. "Anyway, I called you here to make you even more subordinate   
to me. From now on, you're going to be the backups to my randomly generated   
Monster-of-the-Week."  
  
"Monster-of-the-Week?" Crackle asked. "But isn't that cliché?"  
  
"Who cares? Besides, this is randomly generated, so we won't know   
what we get!"  
  
"And that makes it so much better," Snap mumbled sarcastically.  
  
"What was that?"  
  
"Gotta get me a new sweater, sire!"  
  
"That's not a bad idea; your uniform is getting rather crapped up.   
You're dismissed to go buy that sweater."  
  
As Snap walked off, he muttered something about "stupid rabbit" and   
"me and my big mouth." Crackle and Pop stayed behind to watch the creation   
of a randomly generated Monster-of-the-Week.  
  
"And this week's breakfast-related monster is," Trix Rabbit said   
dramatically as a German from WW1 appeared, "Cruller Kaiser!"  
  
"Damn that Treaty of Versailles!" Cruller Kaiser exclaimed.  
  
  
Lucky leaned over the control panel in the command center at the Fortress of   
Cereals. He immediately punched the Big Red Button(TM) and called in the   
Bishônen Warriors. "What is it now?" Shinzô asked.  
  
"It better not be asking for our advice on color scheming again,"   
Daiya muttered.  
  
"No, this is much more important," Lucky said sharply. "I've just   
received an invoice that Sugar Bear sent me, and apparently Trix Rabbit has   
ordered and received a Random Monster-of-the-Week Generator."  
  
"Which means...?" Ki trailed off.  
  
"Which means you have to deal with a Monster-of-the-Week in every   
battle now. And in order to battle it, you're going to have to get new   
powers."  
  
"Ooh, new powers," Umakutsu said sarcastically. "Are we going to be   
able to materialize weapons from nowhere?"  
  
"We can already do that," Hoshi pointed out.  
  
"Well, can those weapons throw energy blasts?"  
  
"Yep."  
  
"Then what do we need new powers for?" Kurôbâ asked.  
  
"Standard super hero team practice," Lucky explained.  
  
"So basically, whenever a new enemy or large inconvenience rears its   
ugly head, we get new powers?" Daiya asked.  
  
"Yep. And somewhere along the line, some of you are going to be   
replaced, and some will be killed, er... 'captured,' and some will get power   
upgrades when the others don't."  
  
"Whatever," Shinzô said, "just give us these powers."  
  
"I already did."  
  
The bishônens looked around amongst each other, then back at the   
leprechaun. "And when did you do this?" Hoshi asked.  
  
"Well, I didn't. You see, you've had the powers the entire time, and   
I just neglected to tell you at first. Now, before you get upset, just   
think: if you knew about those powers, then Trix Rabbit would be dead now."  
  
"Yeah, and we'd be home!" Ki shouted.  
  
"True, but then none of you could be replaced, or die, er... get   
'captured,' or get power upgrades. And think about all the merchandising you   
would miss out on." Lucky expressed this last point by holding up a talking   
Pink Hearts doll. He pulled the string.  
  
"Bishônen Lucky Charms roll call!" the doll cheered. "Hey, why do I   
have to wear pink?! It's clobberin' time!!!"  
  
Lucky hit the doll and smiled wryly at the bishônens. "Oops, still   
some bugs to work out."  
  
"We want to go home, you stupid green jerk!" Umakutsu exclaimed.  
  
"Whatever. Just go kill this Monster-of-the-Week, find some moral in   
doing it, and laugh stupidly."  
  
  
Cruller Kaiser walked along the marshmallow path to the Fortress of Cereals   
to kill the Bishônen Warriors. He hummed to himself as he walked, and he   
occasionally tapped his spear against the ground. "It's good to be German,"   
he said in a thick accent.  
  
"Great," Snap said as he and his brothers trudged along behind the   
Kaiser, "we're stuck as sub-subordinates to that stupid rabbit, now."  
  
"Why don't we join forces with the Bishônen Warriors and fight   
against Trix Rabbit?" Pop asked.  
  
"Because it's against our contracts," Crackle said. "After all, it   
was in big print on the top of the page. In fact, that's pretty much all we   
agreed to in order to get out of that prison cell. And that was your fault!"   
He pulled out his mallet and bashed Pop over the head with it.  
  
"Mallets, so easy to handle that your son won't notice you're drunk,"   
Cruller Kaiser said out of the blue.  
  
"Huh?" Snap asked.  
  
The Kaiser whirled around and glared at them through his monocle.   
"Damn that Treaty of Versailles!"  
  
"Why do you keep saying that?" Crackle demanded.  
  
Cruller Kaiser stabbed Crackle with his spear, turned on his heels   
and continued his walk down the path without giving an answer. Crackle   
rubbed the wound and wiped off the blood on his pants. "What a jerk," Snap   
muttered. "Stupid Monster-of-the-Week Generator."  
  
"Stupid Trix Rabbit, is more like it."  
  
"Stupid Treaty of Versailles," Pop muttered. Snap and Crackle turned   
on him and put a couple of lumps on their brother's head. As they continued   
trudging along, Pop stumbled around like a drunk behind them.  
  
  
"Pink Hearts!" Shinzô shouted.  
  
"Yellow Moons!" Ki declared.  
  
"Orange Stars!" Hoshi exclaimed.  
  
"Green Clovers!" Kurôbâ proclaimed.  
  
"Blue Diamonds!" Daiya recited.  
  
"Purple Horseshoes!" Umakutsu said.  
  
There were six flashes of colored light, and their armor formed over   
the Bishônen Warriors' clothing. They all charged forward at the oncoming   
Cruller Kaiser and Rice Crispies Generals. Everyone prepared their weapons   
for battle with six more flashes of light.  
  
"Damn that Treaty of Versailles!" Cruller Kaiser declared as he   
charged forward.  
  
The Bishônen Warriors rushed past him and each took their own chunk   
out of Cruller Kaiser's body. As they turned to face him, he whirled around   
and released a ring of energy from his spearhead. The bishônens were knocked   
from their feet to the ground. "Use your powers!" Pink Hearts said as he   
jumped to his feet. "Heart and Soul Shatter!"  
  
A heart of pink energy shot from Pink Hearts' hands and shattered   
itself against Cruller Kaiser. Yellow Moons jumped up and shouted, "Yellow   
Moon Crescent Slash!"  
  
He swung his arm out and released a blade of yellow energy. Cruller   
Kaiser took the blow down the center, but managed to hold his body together.   
Orange Stars got to his feet and shouted, "Star Light Dust Buster!"  
  
A stream of sparkles hailed from the sky as he thrust his hand onto   
the air. The sparkles started causing small explosions around the Kaiser.   
Green Clovers jumped to his feet and shouted, "Clover Lucky Deluge!"  
  
Green water washed over Cruller Kaiser, and he fell flat on his face.   
Blue Diamonds stood up and thrust his hands forward. "Blue Diamond Laser!"   
he shouted.  
  
Blue energy beams shot from his hands and pulverized the fallen body   
of the Cruller Kaiser. Purple Horseshoes slowly got up and shook his head   
before making an attack. "Horseshoe Kick Shock!" he shouted.  
  
Purple Horseshoes performed a kick and released a boot of electric   
energy at Cruller Kaiser, who screamed in agony as he was reduced to frosting   
and sugar. "Well, that was a stupidly easy battle," Yellow Moons said.  
  
"Well, let's kill them, then," Pink Hearts suggested as he pointed at   
Snap, Crackle and Pop.  
  
"How about you don't?" Snap asked.  
  
"Well then what should we do?" Green Clovers asked.  
  
"You could just beat us up instead," Pop said.  
  
Snap and Crackle turned on him and brained Pop with their mallets.   
The general put up one finger as if he was going to speak, then fell to the   
ground. As Snap and Crackle turned around, the Bishônen Warriors unleashed   
their new powers upon them. The two brothers just stood there and took the   
attacks. When the dazzling display of awesome cereal-based power, Snap and   
Crackle were still standing, albeit a little fried. Snap coughed a small   
puff of smoke. "I think our business here is done," he said as he turned and   
started walking away.  
  
"Yeah. We'll be back to give you some more of that," Crackle said.   
They grabbed Pop by the shoulders and started dragging him along the ground.  
  
"You know what's funny?" Pop asked. "I got beat up less than you two   
did."  
  
Snap looked at Crackle, and they punted Pop to the horizon. Pink   
Hearts shielded his eyes from the sunlight with a surprised look. "Wow, good   
distance," he said.  
  
"Well, what now?" Purple Horseshoes asked.  
  
"Lucky said we should find a moral for this week's battle," Orange   
Stars said.  
  
All six bishônens started thinking. "Uh, how about this?" Blue Moons   
asked. "Don't send out stupidly pointlessly weak monsters for no reason."  
  
"Fine with me," Yellow Moons said.  
  
They all started laughing like a bunch of morons, just for the heck   
of it. Maybe they all thought of a really funny joke at the same time, or   
maybe there's a nitrous oxide leak nearby. Either way, they all started   
laughing stupidly.  
  
Disclaimer: "It's clobberin' time!" is a copyright of the Thing and Marvel Comics. 


	4. Some More Filler

Bishônen Warriors  
Some More Filler  
  
Sugar Bear was humming to himself as he walked around the Fortress of   
Cereals in his usual stoner way. As he raises the joint to his mouth, he   
gets the sudden feeling that someone is watching him, and he hesitates. "Uh,   
don't do drugs," he said before taking a drag.  
  
However, our business is with Trix Rabbit. He was gleefully eyeing   
his Random Monster-of-the-Week Generator. There was a rather disturbing   
glint in his eye as he stared maniacally at his machine. "My greatest idea   
yet!" he shouted.  
  
Snap and Crackle, having failed to retrieve Pop after punting him   
over the horizon, watched their boss with fear. "He's never acted this odd,"   
Snap said.  
  
"Yeah he has," Crackle countered. "He's obsessed with a kids'   
cereal, and he took over the kingdom to get it. You don't call that acting   
odd?"  
  
"Odder than usual, then."  
  
"I'll agree to that."  
  
"What was that?" Trix Rabbit demanded, overhearing the hushed   
conversation.  
  
"You're getting fat!" Snap shouted before bolting down the hallway at   
full tilt. Crackle soon followed.  
  
Trix Rabbit scowled. "I'm cutting their paychecks for this week..."   
He turned back to his machine and pressed the blue button on the side.   
After loud clanking and other machine noises, followed by a burst of smoke,   
the Monster-of-the-Week appeared. Trix Rabbit flipped through his "Complete   
Moron's Guide to Monsters-of-the-Week" and found the name. "Longjohn Silver?   
Cool!"  
  
The breakfast pastry standing before Trix Rabbit was dressed in a   
manner reminiscent of a pirate, complete with eye-patch, hook, and peg leg.   
"Arr, matey!" he said. "Don't make me make ye walk the plank!"  
  
Trix Rabbit raised an eyebrow and looked at his Monster-of-the-Week   
dubiously. Longjohn drew his cutlass and pointed it at Rabbit, but Rabbit   
had other plans. With a swift motion, Trix Rabbit slapped the monster across   
the face. "Idiot, I want you to make the Bishônen Warriors to walk the   
plank! Now go and kill, er... capture them all!"  
  
"Aye, captain."  
  
Longjohn Silver lumbered away, and Trix Rabbit started massaging his   
temples. "I hope that my future Monsters-of-the-Week are a lot smarter than   
him..."  
  
  
"Shut up!" Shinzô shouted at Kurôbâ. "Stop saying crap like that about me!"  
  
"Well it's true, isn't it?" Kurôbâ asked. "After all, that's the way   
it seems in all super hero teams these days."  
  
"No it's not!"  
  
"Hey, will you two shut up?" Daiya demanded. "Umakutsu and I are   
trying to play this video game here." He turned back to the screen and   
started rapidly punching buttons on the controllers. "Ha, I win again!"  
  
"Cheap moves!" Umakutsu declared. "I want a rematch!"  
  
"Too bad, I play winner," Hoshi announced, snatching the controller.  
  
"Don't worry, your secret's safe with me," Kurôbâ said with a wink.  
  
"What?!" Shinzô exclaimed. "What secret are you talking about!?"  
  
Ki walked in to find everyone arguing amongst themselves, and   
immediately turned around to walk out when Kurôbâ grabbed him by the   
shoulder. "Ki, tell me the honest truth--do you think Shinzô is gay?"  
  
"Shut up, jerk!"  
  
"You mean you aren't?" Ki asked. "I just always assumed..."  
  
"What makes you think I'm gay?"  
  
"Your hair is pink," Daiya said.  
  
"Your armor is pink," Hoshi chipped in.  
  
"I can't help that!" Shinzô declared. "It's not like I chose to have   
pink hair!"  
  
"And you're the only guy I know who has pink trim on his school   
uniform," Kurôbâ said.  
  
"Your room is painted pink, too," Ki said.  
  
"And what about all those pictures of you wearing dresses as a   
child?" Umakutsu asked.  
  
Shinzô blushed and started pulling at his hair. "My parents wanted a   
girl when I was born! They subjected me to that stuff when I was young! I   
can't help that!" he shouted.  
  
Umakutsu held up a picture of Shinzô wearing a pink frilly dress.   
What made it worse was that it was obviously a very recent picture, taken   
within the past few weeks. "Care to explain this, then?"  
  
"He wants men, so he dresses up as a girl to make it seem more right   
in some sick way," Daiya said.  
  
Shinzô ran out of the room screaming, "I am not gay!"  
  
As Hoshi looked at the picture, his eyes widened. "Hold on, that's   
not a picture of Shinzô," he said, "that's a picture of your sister that   
looks almost exactly like him!"  
  
Umakutsu smiled. "I know; I just really like bothering Shinzô."  
  
"I think we might have gone a little too far this time," Ki said.  
  
"Nah," Daiya interjected.  
  
"What if it turns out like the last time we did that to him?"   
Umakutsu asked.  
  
"What are the chances of that happening?" Kurôbâ argued. "After all,   
I haven't seen any drains in the Land of Cereal."  
  
  
Shinzô Tamashii wandered around the Land of Cereal, searching high and low   
for a bottle of some caustic or poisonous substance with which to end his   
life. However, this being the Land of Cereal, there was nothing but   
sugar-coated happiness to be found. "Stupid jerks," he muttered. "Some   
friends they are." He kicked a rock as hard as he could, and it sailed   
through the air a good foot and a half. Infuriated, he picked up the rock   
and threw it another five feet. "Grr, I'm not gay, and I'm not a wuss!"  
  
"I'll disagree with that," said a voice from behind him.  
  
Shinzô turned to see a rather beaten up Pop. "What was that, jerk?"  
  
"I said I'll disagree with that. You may not be gay, but you're most   
certainly a wuss."  
  
"Hey, shut up! What do you know?"  
  
"I know plenty, boy. After all, I've been around since long before   
you were born."  
  
"Of all the times your brothers' mallets would come in handy..."  
  
Shinzô turned and started walking away. "Hey, where do you think   
you're going?" Pop demanded.  
  
"Somewhere where I won't be harassed by a stupid cereal sprite. I   
get enough of that from my so-called friends."  
  
"No, don't leave. At least you have friends."  
  
Pop was about to continue when the Monster-of-the-Week made a   
convenient entrance. "Arr, mateys!" Longjohn Silver shouted. "I here ta   
make ye walk the plank!"  
  
Shinzô started looking around. "Uh, I don't see a plank," he said.  
  
"Then I'll send ye to Davey Jones' Locker!"  
  
Shinzô pulled a locker from nowhere. Stamped on the top in big gold   
letters was the name "Davey Jones." "No need, I already have it right here."  
  
Longjohn Silver became infuriated and started waving his hook around   
in the air in frustration. "Why ye scurvy scoundrel, I'll--!"  
  
"You'll what, scare me with that plastic hook of yours?" As Longjohn   
Silver started clawing at himself to search for a retort, Shinzô took the   
initiative to transform. "Bishônen Lucky Charms roll call! Pink Hearts!"  
  
There was a flash of pink light, and Shinzô Tamashii was replaced by   
Pink Hearts, leader of the Bishônen Warriors. His Heart Bow and Arrow   
appeared in his hands, and he took aim. "Land ho!" Longjohn Silver shouted.  
  
"Shut up, jerk! I'll show you how super hero teams are nowadays!"   
He fired the pink sugar arrow, hitting Longjohn Silver dead center. It fell   
over and started writhing around to get back up. The bow disappeared, and   
Pink Hearts held his hands together. "Heart and Soul Shatter!"  
  
A pink heart shot from his hands and connected with the   
Monster-of-the-Week, shattering on impact. Longjohn Silver screamed in pain   
and exploded, sending pastry dough flying all over the place, and launching   
Pop back to Trix Rabbit's palace. Pink Hearts face faulted. "That was   
easier than the last monster!" he shouted. "Trix Rabbit must really suck at   
making decent enemies for us to fight."  
  
The other five Bishônen Warriors appeared. "Where's the monster?"   
Blue Diamonds asked.  
  
Pink Hearts pushed past him. "I already destroyed it."  
  
"All by yourself?" Green Clovers asked.  
  
"No, with the help of the tooth fairy, jerk. Of course by myself!"  
  
Everyone started laughing, despite the fact that Pink Hearts had just   
insulted them. "And the moral of the week is: don't accuse your friends of   
being gay if they aren't, or they'll take all the credit for themselves and   
insult you," Orange Stars said.  
  
"No, this is a better one," Purple Horseshoes said, "don't waste your   
time writing filler episodes, because there's no plot development, they're   
just a waste of time, and they're always short."  
  
"I'll agree to that!" Yellow Moons said.  
  
Everyone continued to laugh stupidly as the credits started to roll. 


	5. Goodbye Daiya, Farewell Ki, Hello Kitty

Bishônen Warriors  
Goodbye Daiya, Farewell Ki, Hello Kitty  
  
As Lucky poured the green solution into the red solution, he found   
himself consumed in an unexpected explosion which turned him into a little   
purple leprechaun. The six teenagers rushed into his lab to see what was   
wrong. "What happened here?" Hoshi asked.  
  
"A minor setback," Lucky coughed. "So, where were you?"  
  
"We were out finding Shinzô," Umakutsu explained.  
  
"Where did Shinzô go?"  
  
"I went to blow off some steam about these jerks who claim to be my   
friends," Shinzô said. "They keep insisting I'm gay, even though they know   
I'm not."  
  
"You mean you aren't?"  
  
"Shut up!"  
  
"Come on, Shinzô, can't you take a joke?" Kurôbâ asked.  
  
"Sure, I can take a joke. I can take a joke the first million times   
you make it, and I can take a joke for every million after the first. But   
when you come up to me and call me gay when I'm talking to the prettiest girl   
in the school, the one who actually showed interest in me, that's when I   
can't take it any more! Arrrgh!"  
  
Everyone fell silent. "Okay, who did it?" Daiya demanded.  
  
"It was you, Daiya!"  
  
Daiya smiled coyly. "Oh yeah..."  
  
"Fine then, we'll stop," Ki said.  
  
"Good," Shinzô said.  
  
"Yeah. After all, it's much more fun to bug you about being a wuss,"   
Kurôbâ said.  
  
Shinzô screamed and started pulling at his hair.  
  
  
Trix Rabbit screamed and started pulling on his ears. "Why?! Why are my   
monsters so impressive-looking and yet so incredibly wussy!? Why must I have   
pansies working for me!?" he screamed.  
  
Pop crashed through the roof and landed on Trix Rabbit's throne.   
"Perhaps," he started with a cracking voice, "it's because you've set the   
dial to "Pansy" instead of something higher."  
  
"Why, what a genius observation... I'm glad I made it."  
  
Pop stuck up a finger. "Excuse me, but I believe it was I who--"  
  
"Are you contradicting me, sub-subordinate!? Off with your head!!!   
Hold on, I'm no Queen of Hearts. Uh... why don't you just go empty my litter   
box?"  
  
Pop silently obeyed his cruel master and trudged off toward the   
smelliest part of the castle. Trix Rabbit turned back to his Random   
Monster-of-the-Week Generator and twisted the dial from "Pansy" to   
"Incredibly, Physically Impossibly Strong." Stepping back a few steps, he   
stretched out his arms and pressed the large blue button. With a cacophony   
of bells, whistles and chimes, along with a large puff of smoke, this week's   
Monster-of-the-Week appeared from the large funnel on the machine's side.   
Trix Rabbit flipped open his "Complete Moron's Guide to   
Monsters-of-the-Week."  
  
"What the-- Apple Fritters?! What the heck kind of wussy name is   
that!?" he exclaimed upon finding the monster on the book.  
  
Apple Fritters grabbed Trix Rabbit by the scrawny neck and tossed him   
across the room. After regaining his senses and shaking the masonry chips   
from his cape, Trix Rabbit stood and smiled. "Who are you calling a wuss,   
Rabbit?" Apple Fritters demanded.  
  
"Oh, it wasn't me, it was those rainbow-armor-wearing teenagers, the   
Bishônen Warriors."  
  
"Really? I'll kill them!"  
  
Trix Rabbit rubbed his hands together and smiled darkly. "Of course.   
That's the plan, after all..."  
  
  
Sugar Bear burst out laughing for no apparent reason. The Bishônen Warriors   
had retired to the rec. room with him to play a few video games, and the   
sudden outburst caused a dozen eyes to fall upon the baked bear. "You okay?"   
Umakutsu asked.  
  
"Of course," Sugar Bear replied between giggles as he struggled to   
open his eyes. "Nothing could be better. Whoa, pretty colors."  
  
Ki looked to the TV that Sugar Bear was staring at, only to find it   
had static on the screen. "Uh yeah, sure," he agreed warily. "Whatever you   
say."  
  
"Hey, give me some," Daiya said as he opened his hand.  
  
"Man, these aren't for kids," Sugar Bear said as he stuffed   
miscellaneous drugs into his pockets.  
  
"You can trust me."  
  
"No way. Don't do drugs. I've heard that only cartoon characters   
can do them without getting addicted. Speaking of which, where are my   
cigarettes?"  
  
Kurôbâ rolled his eyes as he turned back to the new Pioneer   
Dreamstation and placed the disc for Morbid Combat VII into it. Pressing the   
power button, he sat back and took the controlled into his hand. "Okay,   
who's up first?" he asked.  
  
"Me," Hoshi replied as he picked up the other controller.  
  
"We can all play against each other," Shinzô said as he picked up a   
controller that was color-coded with his hair. "After all, there are six   
controller ports."  
  
"Fine, then we'll select Battle Royale mode," Kurôbâ said.  
  
Just as the character select screen popped up, the wall burst open,   
and a giant claw-shaped pastry with apple filling jumped in. "Roar, I'm here   
to kill, er... capture all of you for insulting me!" Apple Fritters shouted.  
  
The six teenagers jumped to their feet and shot their arms into the   
air. "Bishônen Lucky Charms roll call!" Shinzô shouted. "Pink Hearts!"  
  
"Yellow Moons!"  
  
"Orange Stars!"  
  
"Green Clovers!"  
  
"Blue Diamonds!"  
  
"Purple Horseshoes!"  
  
In six flashes of multicolored light, the teenagers were clad in   
color-coded armor that matched their hair and was adorned with their   
marshmallow's shape. "We're the Bishônen Warriors, and it's your time to be   
destroyed, freaky ass looking monster!" Blue Diamonds sputtered in his usual   
incoherent way.  
  
"Eat this!" Apple Fritters shouted as it chucked a blob of apple-goo   
through the air.  
  
Orange Stars was hit by the blob and thrown into the wall. He   
struggled to get loose, but the blob acted as a kind of wacky tacky. "Let's   
end this without some huge cliché battle," Pink Hearts suggested. "Heart and   
Soul Shatter!"  
  
He threw a pink heart at the Monster-of-the-Week, and it shattered on   
contact with the beast. "Yellow Moon Crescent Slash!" Yellow Moons shouted   
as he swung his arms like blades.  
  
Blades of yellow energy sliced into Apple Fritters. "Starlight Dust   
Buster!" Orange Stars managed to scream. Sparkly dust filled the room and   
exploded when it hit Apple Fritters.  
  
"Clover Lucky Deluge!" Green Clovers shouted. Green water splashed   
upon Apple Fritters.  
  
"Blue Diamond Laser!" Blue Diamonds shouted. He thrust his hand   
forward and released a beam of pure diamond energy into the   
Monster-of-the-Week.  
  
"Horseshoe Kick Shock!" Purple Horseshoes shouted. He swung his foot   
forward and released an energy boot, which kicked Apple Fritters in the face.  
  
However, all of the attacks failed to have their desired effect, as   
Apple Fritters remained standing. "Hahaha, I'm incredibly, physically   
impossibly strong!" it shouted. "You cannot defeat me with such weak   
attacks!"  
  
The Bishônen Warriors drew their marshmallow weapons and cocked them.   
Sugar Bear sat on the couch laughing. "Man, I should really lay off the   
acid," he chuckled.  
  
"Prepare to be destroyed, monster!" Blue Diamonds shouted.  
  
Apple Fritters laughed and swung a fist. Blue Diamonds was thrown   
into the wall with a sickening crack. His body slid to the floor slowly, but   
he stood up again afterward. "You think that an stop me? I could do worse,"   
he moaned.  
  
"So can I," Apple Fritters said as he took another shot.  
  
Blue Diamonds' head exploded in a bloody pulp as Apple Fritters   
connected with a fist to each side. The warrior's body slumped to the floor   
and started spilling blood. "I would take this chance to do a blatantly   
stupid rip-off," Yellow Moons said, "but I'm too pissed now! Die!"  
  
He lunged forward and slashed repeatedly with his Moon Glaive. The   
energy blades tore into Apple Fritters' hide, and the Monster-of-the-Week   
dropped to his knees. "Dude, what'd I do?"  
  
Yellow Moons didn't reply as he plunged his weapon deep into the   
apple-goo core of the beast. Pink Hearts took aim and fired a Heart Arrow   
into the spot right next to the wound the glaive made. The arrow sunk into   
the goo, and Apple Fritters cried out in agony.  
  
Orange Stars managed to pry himself off of the wall with his mace and   
charged forward. "You'll pay for killing Daiya!" he screamed as he swung the   
mace wildly. The energy spheres tore huge holes into the pastry monster, and   
Orange Stars added insult to injury by smashing the Monster-of-the-Week over   
the head.  
  
A trail of green energy sailed through the air as it followed Green   
Clovers' discus into Apple Fritters' head. Purple Horseshoes rushed up and   
jammed the ends of his Horseshoe Magnet into Apple Fritters' apple-goo core.   
With a battle cry, he released all of the electric energy into the monster.   
Apple Fritters groaned and fell over with smoke billowing from his body.  
  
"Is that it?" Pink Hearts asked.  
  
"Poor Daiya," Yellow Moons said solemnly.  
  
"Poor Daiya?" Orange Stars asked. "At least he gets out of this!"  
  
Lucky walked in. "Well, it appears Blue Diamonds has been captured   
by the enemy," he said.  
  
The five remaining Bishônen Warriors did a double take from Lucky to   
Blue Diamonds' fallen, headless body. "Excuse me?" Purple Horseshoes asked.   
"His dead body is right there."  
  
"According to the censors, there cannot be onscreen death in any   
animated children's show. In fact, characters don't die, they get 'captured'   
as an excuse for their absence."  
  
"But he's right there!" Green Clovers exclaimed.  
  
Three men rushed into the room and wrapped up Blue Diamonds' body   
before quickly rushing out with it. "Not anymore."  
  
Pink Hearts shook his head. "This is so stupid," he muttered.  
  
"Well, it's necessary if you want to keep having adventures. Anyway,   
now that Blue Diamonds is gone, there is an imbalance in the cereal forces.   
We're going to have to replace one of you."  
  
"Please, me!" Orange Stars shouted. "I want to go home so bad!   
There are so many video game releases that I'm missing!"  
  
"No, the one who's leaving is Ki. You can return to Earth now, Ki."  
  
Yellow Moons reverted into Ki Tsuki and disappeared in a flash of   
yellow light. "What? Why him?" Purple Horseshoes demanded.  
  
There was a flash of blue light, and Ki's twin brother, Aoi Tsuki,   
appeared. "Hi guys," he said with a smile.  
  
"Everyone," Lucky said, "meet the newest Bishônen Warrior, Blue   
Moons."  
  
To be continued...  
  
============================================================================  
  
Disclaimer: Pioneer doesn't own the Dreamstation, or Morbid Combat VII. I   
do. Copyright © 1999. And Hello Kitty is copyright of some Japanese guy,   
back in the '60's. Or something.  



	6. Once in a Blue Moon

Bishônen Warriors  
Once in a Blue Moon  
  
"Oh yeah," Lucky continued, "now when you transform, there's no need   
to shout the name of your colors. Now you're just the standard Hearts,   
Stars, Horseshoes, Clovers and Blue Moons."  
  
"What about Stomachs, Planets, Horse Hooves, Tulips and Full Moons?"   
Sugar Bear asked.  
  
"Still stoned, I see," Hearts said.  
  
"So I'm, like, some super hero now?" Aoi Tsuki asked.  
  
"That's about right," Lucky said. He pulled out a bracer and handed   
it to Aoi. "Place this on your arm and shout 'Blue Moons' to become the   
Bishônen Warrior, Blue Moons."  
  
Aoi did as he was told, and in a flash of blue light, turned into his   
super alter-ego. "Wow, nice color scheme. Hey Shinzô, why are you wearing   
pink? I thought you were straight."  
  
Hearts screamed and stormed out of the room. Stars put a hand on   
Blue Moons' shoulder and shook his head. "We all agreed to stop teasing him   
about his lack of masculinity," he said.  
  
"Ah, I see."  
  
"Roar!" shouted Apple Fritters as he jumped up from the floor.  
  
Everyone turned to see that the claw-shaped   
Monster-of-Two-Weeks-Running had regenerated itself and was ready for another   
fight. They all drew their weapons and prepared for battle. Hearts ran back   
into the room and notched an arrow into his Heart Bow. Taking aim, he loosed   
the projectile into one of Apple Fritters' eyes.  
  
"I'm outta here!" Apple Fritters shouted as he ran off through the   
hole in the wall he had created.  
  
"Good riddance!" Horseshoes shouted after him.  
  
Lucky called the Bishônen Warriors together. "You must go after   
Apple Fritters and destroy him before he has a chance to regain his   
strength," he said. "To do so, I'm going to have to give you special   
motorcycles that you're going to use only in this episode, okay?"  
  
"Anything to chase after that creep," Clovers agreed.  
  
  
There were five explosions of colored light, and the Bishônen Warriors shot   
across Corn Pops Valley on their Bishô-Cycles, with built-in special effects   
generators. Catching up to Apple Fritters was no problem on their awesomely   
powerful Bishô-Cycles. Hearts took aim and fired a beam from the Bishô-Cycle   
Flashlight, illuminating the monster. Blue Moons stood up on his   
Bishô-Cycle's seat and drew the Blue Moon Blade.  
  
"Don't try this at home!" he shouted as he jumped from the cycle at   
Apple Fritters.  
  
The Blue Moon Blade flashed and cut easily through the monster's   
body. Blue Moons hit the ground and rolled before taking a flying leap back   
onto his Bishô-Cycle. Apple Fritters groaned and fell over. All five   
Bishônen Warriors pulled up around the Monster-of-the-Week and surrounded   
him.  
  
"Your reign of terror stops here," Clovers said.  
  
"Not so!" shouted a trio of voices from behind him.  
  
The Bishônen Warriors looked above Clovers to see the three generals,   
Snap, Crackle and Pop. Each of the three brothers held their mallets aloft   
and jumped from their perch. With three mighty swings, they knocked Clovers   
out for the count. Stars swung his mace and caused the heads of the three   
mallets to explode, leaving the trio weapon-less. "Watcha gonna do now?"   
Hearts asked.  
  
Pop reached into his pocket and pulled out what looked like nothing   
more than a hilt-less sword handle. "What good is that going to do you?"   
Horseshoes asked.  
  
Pop pressed a button on the handle, and an energy mallet formed from   
it. "These little toys will have much more bite than our previous mallets,"   
Snap said as he and Crackles pulled out their own energy mallets. "Prepare   
to meet your doom."  
  
The Heart Bow and Arrow appeared in Hearts' hands, and he fired the   
pink arrow straight into Crackle's wrist. However, the general just pulled   
the arrow from his wrist and lunged forward, taking a wild swing with the   
mallet. "But how--?" Hearts exclaimed.  
  
"It's a trick of the light. My wrist was really higher than where   
the arrow struck," Crackle explained, trying to sound like some physicist.  
  
Hearts moaned as he was laid out by the electro-mallet wielded by   
Crackle. Stars tried to defend himself from Snap's attacks, but his mace was   
knocked from his hand, and he was thrown violently to the ground. Apple   
Fritters stood up and attacked Horseshoes in a wild rage. Horseshoes jumped   
back and started a spin. "Horseshoe Shock Kick!" he shouted, completing the   
spin and raising his leg in a kick. A boot of purple energy slammed into   
Apple Fritters, but it had no real effect.  
  
Apple Fritters picked up a stick and slashed Horseshoes across the   
face. Going against every single principle in anime violence, only a few   
small droplets of blood escaped from the cut. Horseshoes rubbed the blood   
away and smirked. "Is that the best you've got?" he laughed.  
  
Apple Fritters chucked the stick at Horseshoes, plunging it into his   
hand. Three gallons of blood gushed from the new wound, and Horseshoes fell   
to the ground in pain. The generals and monster advanced on the remaining   
Bishônen Warrior. Blue Moons laughed and cocked his sword. "This is going   
to be fun," he said.  
  
Pop was the first to go down. Blue Moons simply lunged at him and   
stabbed him through the gut. Blood sprayed from the wound even after Pop   
fell to the ground. Snap and Crackle decided to double team Blue Moons.   
However, their efforts proved futile as Blue Moons showed his fighting   
prowess by taking both of them down with one swing. Then he turned to Apple   
Fritters.  
  
"Come and get it, wuss," he said with a dark smirk.  
  
Apple Fritters became infuriated and rushed at the Bishônen Warrior.   
The Blue Moon Blade vanished, and Blue Moons pointed one finger at Apple   
Fritters while holding the other hand in front of his mouth. He redirected   
his pointing to the sky and shouted, "Blue Moon Single Eclipse!"  
  
The sky darkened, and a beam of blue light streamed down from the   
sky. Apple Fritters screamed in pain and exploded. Blue Moons laughed as   
the apple goo shot everywhere. However, his laughter was interrupted as some   
of the aforementioned apple goo splattered in his face.  
  
As he celebrated, Trix Rabbit appeared before the Bishônen Warriors   
for the first time. "You think you're strong because you beat my monster,   
but let's see if you can handle me," he said.  
  
Blue Moons turned around and was shocked at the sight of the Rabbit.   
"Trix Rabbit? You're the real enemy? What do you think you're capable of?"  
  
Trix Rabbit thrust his hand forward, and Blue Moons was thrown across   
the field. "Much more than you'll ever find out about," Trix Rabbit replied   
as his eyes glowed bright orange. "And soon, when I grow tired of my   
subordinates' pathetic attempts to destroy you, I'll take it into my own   
hands."  
  
"Never! We'll kill you first!"  
  
Trix Rabbit laughed. "Do you really think so? When you can't stand   
up to this? Snap, Crackle, Pop, Rice Crispies!" Dozens of explosions filled   
the field, and Blue Moons screamed in agony at the onslaught. His body   
collapsed to the ground. "You see? I control the power of every cereal that   
I've captured. If I had succeeded in capturing Lucky, I could use your own   
powers against you! Alas, I cannot, and I enjoy watching you struggle to   
kill my new monsters. Farewell for now, wussy boys."  
  
With a flash of white light, Trix Rabbit and his three generals   
disappeared. The five Bishônen Warriors struggled to stand and gathered   
around their Bishô-Cycles. "He's stronger than we could've ever imagined,"   
Blue Moons said.  
  
"We're going to have to be really careful from now on," Clovers said.   
"After all, his monsters are probably going to kill us off one by one, like   
Apple Fritters did to Daiya."  
  
"Does this mean that Sugar Bear has some awesome power within him?"   
Stars asked.  
  
Everyone shuddered at the thought, then started laughing at the   
concept of the stoned bear destroying Trix Rabbit by accident. "So what's   
the moral this time?" Horseshoes asked.  
  
"No matter how many limbs may be lost, no wound is going to hurt much   
unless at least three gallons of blood are released," Hearts said.  
  
Everyone nodded in agreement to that. 


	7. Merchandising Fun with Umakutsu

Bishônen Warriors  
Merchandising Fun With Umakutsu  
  
Bored out of their minds with nothing better to do, the five   
teenagers known as the Bishônen Warriors decided that digging through Lucky's   
underwear drawer would be fun. Unfortunately, as they soon discovered,   
Lucky's underwear drawer was the same as any other guy's; with the exception   
lying in the fact that Lucky seemed to enjoy wearing boxers with pictures of   
the Backstreet Boys on them. Kurôbâ pulled out a pair and stretched them out   
for all to see.  
  
"Just what the hell is this?" Aoi asked. "The Backstreet Boys? Why   
in his right mind would Lucky listen to those flamers?"  
  
"Probably for the same reason that we're digging through his   
underwear drawer," Hoshi muttered.  
  
"Because there's nothing better to do?" Umakutsu asked. "Now that   
just doesn't make sense."  
  
"Maybe there's just nothing better to listen to in the Land of   
Cereals," Shinzô reasoned.  
  
"But if they have the same crappy boy bands here, then they must have   
the same good music we do," Kurôbâ pointed out.  
  
"Maybe it means Lucky is gay, just like Shinzô," Umakutsu said with a   
smirk.  
  
"Bishônen Lucky Charms roll call!" Shinzô shouted. "Hearts! Heart   
Bow and Arrow! Heart and Soul Shatter!"  
  
As the pink arrow struck its mark, the pink heart exploded upon the   
floor. The wall of the room, which happened to be on the outer edge of the   
Fortress of Cereals, was blown out, and all five teens were propelled through   
the air into the stream that ran down the center of Corn Pops Valley. As   
they splashed into the water, Aoi was sure to give Shinzô a nice hard punch   
to the gut.  
  
All of their heads broke the surface, and the other four bishônen   
spat water at Shinzô's face. Shinzô merely pointed at Umakutsu and said,   
"Blame him. If he hadn't said anything, we'd still be rifling through   
Lucky's undergarments."  
  
At that moment, Lucky walked into his room to find it in total   
shambles with scorch marks all over the walls. Laying on the floor was his   
favorite pair of Backstreet Boys boxers, and he screamed in mortification.   
"No!" he cried, seeing the boxers were burnt beyond recognition to anyone   
aside from the owner. "No, this can't be! Not Kevin, Howie, AJ, Brian and   
Nick! Who did this!?"  
  
He peered through the large gaping hole in his wall and saw the five   
teenagers wading through the nearby stream. A blind rage overcame the   
leprechaun, and he screamed the most primal scream he could muster. Lucky's   
scream echoed through Corn Pops Valley, out past Cap'n Crunch's Port, and   
even beyond the Golden Grahams Fields. The Bishônen Warriors knew that they   
were as good as dead.  
  
  
"What the hell was that?" Trix Rabbit asked as he was snapped from his sleep   
by Lucky's primal scream. He rubbed the sleep from his eyes and sat up   
straight in the throne. After adjusting the crown on his head, he called for   
his generals. "Snap! Crackle! Pop!"  
  
"Yes sire?" the three generals chimed as they rushed into the throne   
room.  
  
"I'm feeling lazy. Go over to my Random Monster-of-the-Week   
Generator and make me a strong monster."  
  
"Of course, my Liege," Snap said as he rushed to the machine.  
  
"Anything for you, your Majesty," Crackle sucked-up as he followed   
his brother.  
  
"Can I have a raise?" Pop asked.  
  
Trix Rabbit glared at Pop, and the latter slowly backed toward the   
machine. As he whirled around, Pop unknowingly shifted the dial from   
"Incredibly, Physically Impossibly Strong" to "Something Not Too Weak, but   
Not Very Strong, Either." The machine whirred, and the three brothers hit   
the big blue button. With a cacophony of clanks, bells and whistles, as well   
as a puff of pink smoke, the Monsters-of-the-Week appeared. Trix Rabbit   
whipped out his "Complete Moron's Guide to Randomly Generated   
Monsters-of-the-Week."  
  
"Hmm, what have we here?" Trix Rabbit asked. "The Bismark Boys?" He   
looked at the group of five bishônen pastries standing before him. "What   
the--?! This is pretty @#$%ed up right here."  
  
"Hello. Hello. Hello. Hello. Hello," the five boys chimed as a   
quintet.  
  
Trix Rabbit muttered something under his breath and slumped down so   
far in his throne that the back of his head was against the padded seat.   
"Take your incessant tenor-wanna-be voices and destroy the Bishônen   
Warriors."  
  
"Yes sir. Yes sir. Yes sir. Yes sir. Yes sir."  
  
The Bismark Boys trotted off through the palace hallways. Trix   
Rabbit sat up and pointed to his three generals. "You three, go after them   
and make sure they don't screw up. You're promoted to subordinates for the   
duration of this little adventure."  
  
"Yes sir!" Snap and Crackle cheered as they raced after the Bismark   
Boys.  
  
"Can I have a raise?" Pop asked again.  
  
Trix Rabbit sent him reeling with a stabbing glare. And as soon as   
Pop pulled the glare from his chest with a decent amount of blood, he ran off   
after his brothers.  
  
  
"I am shocked and appalled at the very thought!" Lucky reprimanded the five   
teenagers. "Why on earth would you dig through my personal belongings?"  
  
"There was nothing better to do," Umakutsu replied.  
  
"So you go digging through my underwear drawer? I'll have you know   
that there are a dozen priceless Backstreet Boys boxers in that drawer."  
  
"Yeah, priceless because no one wants to buy something that's touched   
your ass," Aoi quipped.  
  
Lucky chose to ignore the comment, and he spoke to Shinzô through the   
bout of laughter that ensued. "And you, Shinzô, you should be ashamed."  
  
"I know," Shinzô said regretfully. "As leader, I should destroy evil   
and not my comrades."  
  
"What? Screw your friends!"  
  
"Don't give him any ideas," Kurôbâ said.  
  
"Shut up!" Shinzô shouted.  
  
"Shinzô," Lucky continued, "you should be ashamed for destroying my   
boxers. Now Kevin, Howie, AJ, Brian and Nick can never be restored to their   
full glory!"  
  
Lucky held up the scorched and tattered boxers to prove his point.   
"Jeez, they're just boxers," Umakutsu said. "Just really crappy merchandise.   
You can always get more."  
  
"No, the only merchandise we're dealing with will be your own   
merchandise. Now, it's time for a business meeting." Lucky pressed a large   
white button, and his bedroom shifted into a meeting room. He sat down at   
the head of a large rectangular table and motioned for the others to sit.   
"So, do any of you have anymore merchandising ideas for the Bishônen   
Warriors?"  
  
The five teens looked at each other in confusion. Sugar Bear walked   
in an collapsed, reeking of pot. "Whoa, acid flashback, man," he groaned.   
"Oh yeah."  
  
"Why don't we market the Bishô-Cycles?" Umakutsu suggested. "They   
can come with their own little specialized action figure."  
  
Lucky scratched his chin in thought. "Hmm, sounds like an   
interesting prospect. Anyone else?" he asked.  
  
"I was wondering how the Talking Shinzô Doll was coming along,"   
Shinzô said.  
  
Lucky pulled out the doll and pulled the string in its back.   
"Bishônen Lucky Charms roll call! Just because I wear pink doesn't mean I'm   
gay! I pity da foo'!" the doll cried out energetically.  
  
Kurôbâ looked at the doll with a confused expression. "'I pity da   
foo?' What the--?" he stammered. "Dude, that is so @#$%ed up."  
  
Lucky smiled sheepishly. "Still a few bugs to work out," he said.  
  
"Why don't we get a line of transforming combiner robots?" Aoi asked.   
"Every show worth their animation has robots."  
  
"Budget problems with that one. If we do that, it has to be an   
entirely different show, with an entirely different plot, and an entirely   
different cast."  
  
Hoshi sighed. "There goes the fourth wall," he muttered.  
  
Suddenly, the meeting was pierced by a five note chord. Everyone   
looked out of the gaping hole in Lucky's wall to see five bishônen pastries   
standing outside, singing some song that sounded reminiscent of something by   
the Backstreet Boys. "Now it's plain to see that you're breaking my heart/By   
sayin you want to eat me (yeah)/No matter my filling, I want you to know,   
that deep down inside of me/You are a glutton/And I'm not mutton/And now   
that I say/You need to go away."  
  
"Now that's @#$%ed up," Lucky said. He got up and went to the hole.   
"Hey, you're singing it wrong!"  
  
"No we're not!" the Bismark Boys chimed in their chord. "We're the   
Bismark Boys, and we sing whatever we damn well please!"  
  
"You're butchering a great song!"  
  
With a quick teleport, the Bismark Boys appeared in front of Lucky.   
"No we're not. Those Back-Alley Boys, or whatever they're called, are the   
ones who ripped us off. We're the original, no doubt about that! We're the   
Bismark Boys, and we're low on fat!"  
  
Shinzô jumped up, realizing that these freaks must be enemies with   
the way they sang. "Bishônen Lucky Charms roll call!" he shouted. "Hearts!"  
  
"Stars!"  
  
"Horseshoes!"  
  
"Clovers!"  
  
"And Blue Moons!"  
  
There were five flashes of light, and the Bishônen Warriors appeared   
in their color-coded armor. "We're frosted Lucky Charms, and we're magically   
delicious!" they cried out together.  
  
"We'll have to test that one later," the Bismark Boys sang. "Now we   
attack!"  
  
The Bismark Boys squared off against the Bishônen Warriors. The   
warriors drew their weapons, while the boys pulled out musical instruments   
and started playing another song. The Bismark Boy with pink hair lifted the   
microphone and started singing into it. The Bishônen Warriors looked at each   
other and then at their opponents.  
  
Five streaks of colored light streamed from the Bishônen Warriors and   
into the Bismark Boys. Now unable to finished their song, the boys   
disappeared into nonexistence. Snap, Crackle and Pop appeared on the scene   
with their electro-mallets, ready to fight. However, when they saw that the   
Bismark Boys were nothing more than a few puddles of goo on the floor, they   
quickly lost face and ran away.  
  
  
When Trix Rabbit heard of the latest failure, he quickly demoted his generals   
to lieutenants, making them sub-sub-subordinates. Now, Tony the Tiger, a   
mere busboy for the tyrant, had more power than Snap Crackle and Pop. And   
because of his constant asking, Pop received a paycut, as did his brothers.   
After all, it was the least Trix Rabbit could do.  
  
He leaned on the arm of his throne and groaned. "Stupid monsters,"   
he muttered. "I need something more foolproof. Maybe if I could make my own   
evil Bishônen Warriors..."  
  
The evil laughter of the rabbit tyrant filled the palace.  
  
  
Lucky pouted at all the damage that had been done to his room. "So, what's   
the moral this time?" he asked.  
  
The five Bishônen Warriors looked at each other and nodded. "Boy   
bands are the greatest evil in the world," they all said in unison.  
  
Sugar Bear stumbled to his feet and stuck up a finger. Of course, in   
his baked state, it was the middle finger. This prompted everyone to laugh.   
And laugh they did.  
  
==========================================================================  
  
Disclaimer: Those flaming Backstreet Boys are copyright themselves, or   
something like that. And yes, insult was meant toward them. 


	8. Evil Bishônen?

Bishônen Warriors  
Evil Bishônen?  
  
"Oh yeah," Sugar Bear moaned as the syringe pierced his arm and he   
injected the fluid into it. "Oh yeah."  
  
"Sugar Bear, what are you doing?" Kurôbâ demanded.  
  
All five Bishônen Warriors turned away from their Pioneer   
Dreamstation and looked at the bear. He closed his bloodshot eyes and   
ignored the question. "Ah, that's the stuff."  
  
"Ignore him," Hoshi said as he turned back to the game and unpaused   
it. "Haha, I'm winning!"  
  
  
Trix Rabbit pounded his fist against the speakerphone on the arm of his   
throne. "What the hell do you mean 'it violates the rules'?!" he demanded.  
  
"Well," started the voice from the other end, "it is a Random   
Monster-of-the-Week Generator. If you started planning what kind of monsters   
you send out against your enemies, it violates the contract you signed when   
you received our product. I'm sorry, but you just can't use it to generate   
evil Bishônen Warriors, it wasn't meant for that."  
  
"Well screw you, I'm evil, and I'm the king, so I'll do just whatever   
the @#$%ing hell I want!" With that, Trix Rabbit smashed the speakerphone   
into many smaller pieces. With an evil grin, he turned to his Random   
Monster-of-the-Week Generator. "Yes, whatever I want. It's good to be   
king."  
  
He pressed the big brown button that said "Do not push," and the   
generator started spewing smoke in all directions. Trix Rabbit entered   
commands into the machines main monster-generating database, and with three   
flashes of light, three teenagers were pulled into the Land of Cereals.   
"What the hell just happened?" demanded the boy with golden hair.  
  
"Where are we?" demanded the boy with hair that would give him the   
nickname Rainbow Head.  
  
"And who are you?" demanded the red-haired boy of Trix Rabbit.  
  
"Welcome to the Land of Cereals," Trix Rabbit said. "I'm your new   
master."  
  
Evil laughter filled the palace, soon followed by the sound of three   
fists smashing into a rabbit's skull. "We want answers!" shouted the   
rainbow-headed boy.  
  
"Fine. I'm Trix Rabbit, and I brought you here to the Land of   
Cereals to become my evil Bishônen Warriors who shall bring victory into my   
hands by destroying my enemies. Happy?"  
  
"Much," the gold-haired boy said. "I am Tsubo Kinno."  
  
"I am Niji Nozomi," the rainbow-headed boy said.  
  
"And I'm Akai Kikyû," the red-haired boy said.  
  
"I think this is going to develop into a beautiful master/servant   
relationship," Trix Rabbit said with eerie glee. He pulled out three magic   
bracers from beneath his cape. "I present you with the Bishô-bracers. Tsubo   
Kinno, you will become Pots of Gold. Niji Nozomi, you will become Rainbows.   
And Akai Kikyû, you will become Red Balloons. To transform, cry out 'Evil   
Bishônen Lucky Charms roll call'."  
  
Tsubo looked at his bracer and smiled evilly. "This could actually   
be fun. Evil Bishônen Lucky Charms roll call! Pots of Gold!"  
  
"And Rainbows!" Niji cried.  
  
"And the Red Balloons!" Akai shouted.  
  
With three flashes of light, the teens transformed into the Evil   
Bishônen Warriors. From a far off corner, the very pissed Snap, Crackle, and   
Pop watched everything that had transpired. "This isn't good," Snap said.  
  
"Not in the least," Crackle agreed.  
  
"We must do something," Pop said.  
  
Snap and Crackle looked at their brother in surprise. "That's the   
first intelligent thing you've said," Snap remarked.  
  
"I'm not as stupid as you might think! When it comes to stuff like   
this, I'm not going to take any crap, especially not from a bunch of teens   
trying to outdo us!"  
  
"Let's kill them," Crackle said.  
  
"Yes, that's what we'll do," Snap said darkly. "We'll kill them..."  
  
  
"Crap," Lucky muttered as he monitored his computers. "This can't be good in   
the least bit."  
  
"What is it?" Aoi asked as he conveniently walked in.  
  
"My plot contrivance machine is detecting a rip in the dimensional   
fabric between your world and this one."  
  
"You mean that there's a chance for us to go home?"  
  
"No, that can't happen until you destroy Trix Rabbit. And these   
disturbances closed almost immediately after they opened. That can only mean   
that Trix Rabbit has brought other people into this world to make evil   
Bishônen Warriors."  
  
"Wow, you can tell all of that with just one machine?"  
  
Lucky smirked. "I did say it was a plot contrivance detector, didn't   
I?" he asked smugly. "In any case, we must inform the others and take action   
before they do."  
  
The Fortress of Cereals rocked with a huge explosion. Lucky looked   
into his monitor and saw the three Evil Bishônen attacking with their own   
custom-made Bishô-Cycles. "Looks like we're too late," Aoi remarked. "I'll   
go get the others."  
  
  
As the Bishônen Warriors rushed out to face their adversaries, they were met   
by a golden beam of light that was emitted from the opening of Pots of Gold's   
pot. Sugar Bear immediately went back in when he discovered that it was not   
the same kind of pot he thought it was. Rainbows jumped from his Bishô-Cycle   
and sailed through the air at the Bishônen Warriors. He held one arm back in   
a throwing position and shouted, "Rainbow Boomerang!"  
  
The multicolored weapon appeared in his hand, and he sent it spinning   
through the air at the teens below. Stars jumped aside and just barely   
avoided being cut in half by the glowing boomerang. Clovers let loose with   
his discus, and the green weapon cut through the air toward Red Balloons. He   
pulled his Bishô-Cycle to the side and deflected the weapon with his newly   
formed Red Balloons Shield. "Man, why did I get shafted for weapons?" he   
demanded.  
  
"Don't complain," Rainbows said, "at least your armor isn't too   
conspicuous."  
  
The Bishônen Warriors drew their weapons and engaged the enemy. The   
Evil Bishônen held out their weapons and glared at the Bishônen Warriors.   
"Why are you working for Trix Rabbit?" Horseshoes demanded.  
  
"We prefer to fight for the winning side," Pots of Gold replied.  
  
"Technically, we've beaten his sorry ass seven times already," Hearts   
said.  
  
"That doesn't mean he won't win in the end," Red Balloons said.  
  
"He won't," Blue Moons said, "we'll make sure of that."  
  
He rushed forward and started slashing at Rainbows, who defended with   
his boomerang. While he was busy with Rainbows, the other two Evil Bishônen   
attacked Blue Moons from behind. They slashed and banged him up into a   
bloody pulp before throwing him to the feet of the other Bishônen Warriors.   
"Who's next?" Pots asked.  
  
"Attack together!" Hearts declared.  
  
"What kind of men are you if you're taking orders from some fruit who   
wears pink?" Rainbows asked.  
  
Hearts aimed his bow and fired. Rainbows launched his boomerang and   
cut the arrow in half. Hearts ducked the weapons and fired another pink bolt   
at Red Balloons, who easily deflected with his shield. Horseshoes released a   
burst of purple static from his horseshoe, but was cut short when the   
boomerang hit him from behind.  
  
Pots swung his pot wildly and deflected Stars' mace with blind luck.   
His follow through hit Clovers in the back of the head. Pots shot his hand   
into the air and closed his eyes. "Golden Munificence Surprise!" he shouted.  
  
A ring of golden light spread from his body across the battlefield,   
knocking out Hearts and Stars. The three Evil Bishônen surveyed their   
victory with a dark glee. "Don't think you've won yet, dudes," Sugar Bear   
said as he walked out onto the battlefield.  
  
"And what do you think you can do?" Red Balloons demanded.  
  
Sugar Bear thrust his hand forward. "Just watch," he said with a   
stoned smile. "Oh yeah!"  
  
A beam of golden light pierced the air and struck Pots of Gold in the   
chest. He was thrown back and knocked out by the blast. Rainbows and Red   
Balloons looked at the sky-high cartoon bear in amazement. The Bishônen   
Warriors groaned and pushed themselves to their feet. "No, you can't win!"   
Rainbows shouted. He thrust his hand forward. "Rainbow Light Purification!"  
  
Rainbow light shot from his hand in a beam similar in shape to that   
of Sugar Bear's. However, it missed its mark and found a target in the wall   
separating Lucky's room from the outside. Yet another hole was blown in the   
wall, and yet another priceless pair of boxers were ruined. Red Balloons   
thrust both hands forward and concentrated his energy into a red ball that   
formed before his hands.  
  
"Balloon Grand Explosion!" he shouted.  
  
The red energy ball exploded, knocked the Bishônen Warriors back, and   
imbedded them into the fortress' wall. Sugar Bear, in his stoned state, was   
completely knocked out. Pots of Gold stood up and shook his head. "Let's   
kill them now," he said. "Let's pay them back for what they've done."  
  
"Stop!" shouted a voice from behind them.  
  
The three Evil Bishônen turned to see Snap, Crackle and Pop standing   
behind them, electro-mallets in hand. "What do you want?" Rainbows demanded.  
  
"You aren't killing anyone," Crackle said.  
  
"In fact, you're going to be the ones who get killed," Pop added.   
"We aren't going to waste our time dealing with competition when we can just   
eliminate it right off."  
  
"Trix Rabbit is going to kill you is you kill us," Pots pointed out.  
  
Snap, Crackle and Pop stopped to think for a moment. "He's got a   
point," Snap said.  
  
"Do we really care, though?" Pop asked. "After all, those Bishônen   
Warriors could end up killing us, too."  
  
The three brothers advanced and raised the mallets above their heads.   
"Don't worry, this will definitely hurt you more than it hurts us," Crackle   
said.  
  
"Stop right there, boys!" Trix Rabbit shouted as he appeared between   
the Rice Crispies Bros. and the Evil Bishônen. "Can't you see that if you   
work together, you can kill these stupid teens?" He pointed to the   
immobilized Bishônen Warriors.  
  
"We don't need them," Red Balloons said. "We're too powerful to have   
to work with these rejects."  
  
Snap's eyebrow started twitching. "You will work together, or you   
will die. Is that understood?" The six warriors realized that Trix Rabbit   
was dead serious, and they nodded in compliance with his order. "Good. Now   
kill these brats."  
  
Unfortunately, by that time, the Bishônen Warriors had at least freed   
their arms from the brick wall. "Heart and Soul Shatter!"  
  
"Starlight Dust Buster!"  
  
"Horseshoe Kick Shock!"  
  
"Clover Lucky Deluge!"  
  
"Blue Moon Single Eclipse!"  
  
The five blasts converged on the area where Trix Rabbit and his   
minions were standing. The resulting explosion created a huge crater in the   
ground. However, the silly rabbit had gotten away, and he had taken his   
little subordinates with him. The Bishônen Warriors dropped down to the   
ground and dusted off their armor.  
  
"This isn't good," Stars said. "Just the fact that Trix Rabbit can   
bring other people to this dimension is bad. He could amass an entire army   
of powerful bishônen like those three. If that happens, we're dead."  
  
"Then we need to get them on our side," Horseshoes said.  
  
"Or we need to get more powerful," Blue Moons added.  
  
"In either case," Hearts said, "we're going to have to take the   
initiative in the next battle, because if we don't strike first, we're as   
good as dead.  
  
Realizing the gravity of the situation, no one laughed when Sugar   
Bear's body crashed unceremoniously to the ground and he groaned, "Oh yeah." 


	9. Hearts and Blue Moons? Who Are They?

Bishônen Warriors  
Hearts and Blue Moons? Who Are They?  
  
"We've entered dire straits," Lucky said gravely as the Bishônen   
Warriors gathered before him. "However, I never thought it would come so   
soon."  
  
"You mean to tell us that you knew this was going to happen all   
along?" Stars demanded.  
  
Lucky nodded. "I've known everything that's going to happen to you.   
I knew that Hoshi was going to be captured, and that Daiya was going to be   
'captured.' I knew that Trix Rabbit was going to buy a Random   
Monster-of-the-Week Generator from the BS Flash company. I knew that he   
would make three more teenagers from your world into the Evil Bishônen Force,   
and I know what's going to happen to us as a result of that."  
  
Clovers and Horseshoes looked at each other in surprise. "You do?"   
Clovers asked.  
  
"Of course I do."  
  
"How?" Stars demanded.  
  
Lucky pulled out a large book and smiled. "I read the script," he   
joked. "But seriously, this is the book of prophecies that has been handed   
down from generation to generation in the Land of Cereals. It tells of the   
struggle against Trix Rabbit, and everything that will happen during and   
because of his tyranny."  
  
"Let me see!" Horseshoes shouted.  
  
"No! You can't! There's no telling what might happen because of   
your reading the book. Anyway, something has to be done about the Evil   
Bishônen Force. We have to even the score a little."  
  
Stars crossed his arms. "And how do you propose we do that?" he   
demanded.  
  
Lucky pulled an orange and white bracer from nowhere. Clovers' eyes   
lit up. "We're going to get another Bishônen Warrior!" he cried in glee.  
  
"Not quite," Lucky said. He handed the bracer to Stars. "Stars is   
going to receive a power upgrade. Put it on. To activate the upgrade, shout   
'Shooting Stars' when you're wearing your armor."  
  
Stars did as he was told and replaced the Stars bracer that was on   
his arm.  
  
  
Trix Rabbit observed the large scorch mark on his deep violet cape. "Those   
stupid teenagers," he muttered before turning to his Evil Bishônen Force.   
"And you! Why didn't you kill them when you had the chance?"  
  
"That bear came out and blasted me!" Pots of Gold protested. "I   
would've taken them out if it weren't for him!"  
  
"He looked pretty smashed," Rainbows said. "Who would've thought his   
aim would be so good?"  
  
Trix Rabbit frowned. "Expect the unexpected in his world, boys," he   
said. Then he turned to his lieutenants, who were trying to quietly sneak   
away. "And just what the hell did you three think you were doing? I bet   
that if you hadn't gotten in the way, those Bishônen Warriors would be dead   
now!"  
  
"We refused to be upstaged by a bunch of kids!" Crackle shouted.  
  
"I hope that you're aware that the Bishônen Warriors are kids and   
that they've upstaged you on countless occasions."  
  
"Please don't kill us," Pop pled. "We were only doing what we   
thought you ordered us to do."  
  
Trix Rabbit placed a paw on his chin. "I ordered you to kill my Evil   
Bishônen Force? That doesn't sound like something I would do."  
  
"But you did order us to kill the Bishônen Warriors, and technically,   
those three are Bishônen Warriors."  
  
"Hmm, I suppose that's true..."  
  
"Yeah, so it's your fault!" Snap said smugly. "We can't help it that   
you ordered us to kill your warriors."  
  
"In either case, I'm going to send out one of my monsters this time.   
It's bound to succeed, and if it doesn't, I have the Evil Bishônen Force as   
a backup."  
  
Trix Rabbit activated the Random Monster-of-the-Week Generator and   
pressed the blue button to make a monster. There were the standard bells,   
chinks and whistles followed by a puff of smoke to announce the arrival of   
the new monster. It was a large strudel dressed in an Arabic fashion. Trix   
Rabbit smiled when he saw the picture in his guide. "The Strudel Sultan," he   
read. "Very, very chic. Kill the good Bishônen Warriors, my evil monster   
friend."  
  
Strudel Sultan shouted something in Arabic and stormed off, the Evil   
Bishônen Force not far behind.  
  
  
"Sugar Bear, what's that in your hand?" Clovers demanded as he walked in on   
the bear taking dope.  
  
"It's, uh... a Mentos," Sugar Bear replied.  
  
"Really? Can I have one?"  
  
"Uh... no. This is the last one."  
  
"Oh, okay."  
  
"Say, where are Hearts and Blue Moons?"  
  
Clovers looked perplexed. "Who?"  
  
"You know, those two guys who look exactly like you, except that one   
has pink hair and the other has blue hair."  
  
"I have no idea who you're talking about, Sugar Bear. Now if you'll   
excuse me, I have some serious video-gaming to do."  
  
Clovers took one of the controllers in hand and turned on the Pioneer   
Dreamstation. However, Horseshoes walked in and promptly turned it on.   
"Clovers, have you had a lobotomy?" he demanded. "We've got more important   
things to do that play video games."  
  
Clovers held up the CD case. "It's Guillotine XVI..."  
  
"Ooh..."  
  
Horseshoes took a controller and sat down next to Clovers. Stars   
walked in and grabbed both of them by the hair and pulled them out of the   
Fortress of Cereals. "Come on, you two, we've got a battle to fight," he   
said. "We can't let ourselves be vulnerable again. That's the mistake we   
made the last three times we were attacked."  
  
"But Guillotine XVI!" Clovers cried.  
  
"You can play it some other time, 'Louis,'" Stars taunted. "Let's   
go!"  
  
"Where exactly are we going?" Horseshoes asked.  
  
"It's time for our preemptive strike. We're going straight to Trix   
Rabbit's palace."  
  
Seven forms appeared on the horizon, and Stars groaned. "It looks   
like we've been anticipated," Clovers said.  
  
"Or maybe they're just attacking us first again," Horseshoes said.  
  
Stars dropped the other two onto the ground. "Attack!" he shouted as   
he charged forward.  
  
Clovers and Horseshoes jumped to their feet and followed their   
leader. In three flashes of light, they drew their marshmallow weapons and   
took aim. Stars swung his mace and launched an orange energy ball through   
the air. The ball was met by Rainbows' boomerang, and an explosion ensued.   
Clovers hurled his discus through the air and took out Pop in the process.  
  
Pots of Gold smirked and aimed the opening of his pot at the three   
Bishônen Warriors. A beam of golden light shot from it, but the Bishônen   
Warriors easily dodged the attack. Red Balloons thrust his hands forward.   
"Balloon Grand Explosion!" he shouted.  
  
A ball of red energy exploded across the battlefield. Horseshoes   
unleashed the electricity from his magnet into the explosion and struck Snap   
and Crackle. Stars shielded himself from the explosion with his mace and   
charged into the midst of it. When the light and smoke cleared, he was in a   
close-range battle with Rainbows. Their weapons were locked, and Stars   
thrust his hand forward.  
  
"Starlight Dust Buster!" he shouted.  
  
Energy sparks leapt from his hand and struck Rainbows in the face.   
He jumped back, and Stars was about to strike him down when Red Balloons hit   
him from behind with his shield. The three Evil Bishônen surrounded him with   
dark smirks. Strudel Sultan shouted something in Arabic, and the three   
bishônen backed off. Stars smirked at the pastry and thrust his hand   
forward.  
  
"Shooting Stars!" he shouted.  
  
A sphere of energy shot out from the center of Stars' body, and his   
armor changed shape. Included in it now were a pair of shin bracers and a   
white cape. The armor had also shifted colors, and was and orange with   
alternating white pattern. His Star Mace changed shape, and the star now had   
a tail attached to it.  
  
"What the hell?" Pots demanded.  
  
Shooting Stars swung his mace, and a comet shot from it, striking   
Strudel Sultan in the chest and destroying him. He then turned to the Evil   
Bishônen Force and thrust his arm into the air. "Comet Crater Rupture!"  
  
A huge comet shot down from the sky and struck the battlefield. The   
Evil Bishônen Force was expelled from the area at a great speed, as were   
Snap, Crackle and Pop. Shooting Stars' upgrade faded away, and he reverted   
back to Hoshi Hikari, regular teenager trapped in the Land of Cereals. He   
looked at his clothing in shock. "I guess that power upgrade takes a lot of   
power to maintain," he said. "In that case, I'll have to monitor how I use   
it."  
  
Horseshoes and Clovers nodded. Sugar Bear walked out and   
congratulated them on the victory with an, "Oh yeah!"  
  
"Oh yeah!" the three Bishônen Warriors cheered.  
  
"Say, where are Hearts and Blue Moons?" Sugar Bear asked.  
  
The three Bishônen Warriors looked at each other in confusion.   
"Who?" Hoshi asked.  
  
"Yeah, who are Hearts and Blue Moons?" Horseshoes asked.  
  
"The other Bishônen Warriors," Sugar Bear said.  
  
"No, there's only Stars, Horseshoes and Clovers," Clovers said. "No   
Hearts or Blue Moons."  
  
"Whatever, man."  
  
With that, everyone started laughing.  
  
  
Disclaimer: Mentos is copyright Van Melle.  



	10. Bishônen With Hats

Bishônen Warriors  
Bishônen With Hats  
  
The five Bishônen Warriors gathered in Lucky's meeting room. A  
holographic image of Trix Rabbit's palace was projected just above the   
table, and everyone was studying it. "The end is nearing," Lucky said. "And   
soon, we're going to have to make our move and strike Trix Rabbit head on.   
But between then and now, we have to make a plan of action."  
  
"I say we just strike now with full force," Umakutsu suggested.  
  
"That's suicide," Shinzô reprimanded. "Trix Rabbit not only has a   
whole expendable army of Cheerio Knights, but he's got Snap, Crackle and Pop,   
a Random Monster-of-the-Week Generator, and his own Evil Bishônen Force!   
There's no way we can stand up to all of that."  
  
"We need to give ourselves a tactical advantage by knocking out some,   
if not all, of the things he has to defend himself with," Kurôbâ said.  
  
"Well, we can't focus on the Cheerio Knights," Lucky said, "because   
he can keep making those."  
  
"Then maybe we can get the Evil Bishônen Force on our side," Hoshi   
suggested.  
  
"How?" Shinzô asked. "They've been brainwashed by Trix Rabbit's   
propaganda, and just the fact that they enjoy the thought of killing us makes   
them very unlikely candidates for allies."  
  
"Then what about the Random Monster-of-the-Week Generator?" Aoi   
asked. "Surely we can destroy it."  
  
"No can do," Lucky said. "He's got it stashed away in his palace.   
We managed to get in once, but that's no guarantee we can do it again. After   
all, Trix Rabbit's defenses have been raised considerably since our first   
strike."  
  
"Then why don't we get Snap, Crackle and Pop to join us?" Shinzô   
asked. "After all, we know for a fact that they don't like Trix Rabbit since   
he's replaced them with the Evil Bishônen Force."  
  
"A viable option," Umakutsu remarked, "but will it work?"  
  
"We can't trust them," Kurôbâ said. "They've been working for Trix   
Rabbit, and what's to say they just won't run back to him or stab us in the   
back when the going gets tough?"  
  
"Then what do we do?" Lucky asked.  
  
Hoshi stood and placed his hand on the table. "Despite the futility   
of the attempt, I say we storm Trix Rabbit's palace and just check out how   
powerful these defenses are," he said.  
  
"It's our only decent option at the moment," Shinzô said as he stood   
and joined Hoshi. "It's suicide, but it's better than sitting around waiting   
for an attack."  
  
The other three bishônen stood and nodded. "Then let's go!" Aoi   
said.  
  
"It's time for a Bishônen Lucky Charms roll call! Hearts!"  
  
"Stars!"  
  
"Horseshoes!"  
  
"Clovers!"  
  
"And Blue Moons!"  
  
There were five flashes of light, and the Bishônen Warriors jumped   
out the nearby window with a cry of, "We're frosted Lucky Charms and we're   
magically delicious!"  
  
  
The Evil Bishônen Force bowed down before Trix Rabbit. "What is it this   
time?" the rabbit demanded.  
  
"We could not help but fail," Niji explained. "Stars received a   
power upgrade from that leprechaun, and he changed into Shooting Stars."  
  
"What of the others? Hearts? Horseshoes? Clovers? Blue Moons?"  
  
"There were only three of them, sire," Akai said. "Hearts and Blue   
Moons were nowhere to be found."  
  
"Hmm... But did Shooting Stars actually attack you?"  
  
"Well, not really..." Tsubo trailed off. "But he did make this huge   
explosion that blew us back here."  
  
"Were you hurt?"  
  
"Not really," Akai said.  
  
"Then why the hell didn't you go back to destroy them!?"  
  
"We're sorry!" the three bishônen cried.  
  
"No matter, as long as you're not hurt. Now, we need to make a new   
battle strategy. With the Bishônen Warriors growing in power, we're going to   
need some more power of our own."  
  
"What can we do to help?" Pop asked.  
  
"We'll do anything to destroy those Bishônen brats," Snap snapped.  
  
"They've embarrassed us for the last time!" Crackle declared.  
  
Trix Rabbit narrowed his eyes. "Then I wouldn't suppose they're the   
ones who put those dresses on you, would they?" he asked.  
  
"We assure you that these dresses are in no way connected to the   
Bishônen Warriors," Snap said.  
  
"Then where did they come from, and what are they for, hmm?"  
  
Pop quickly replied, "We're not at liberty to say."  
  
The Evil Bishônen Force started snickering. Suddenly, the palace   
rocked, and everyone fell to the floor. "We're under attack!" Tsubo shouted.  
  
"Not for long!" Trix Rabbit said. "Evil Bishônen Force, roll out!"  
  
"Pots of Gold!"  
  
"Rainbows!"  
  
"And the Red Balloons!"  
  
The three teens transformed into the Evil Bishônen Force and rushed   
through the palace hallways to find the source of the disturbance. As they   
searched, the walls exploded, and the Bishônen Warriors burst through. "You   
can't win this time," Horseshoes said, "because we're gonna go all out!"  
  
"Golden Munificence Surprise!" Pots of Gold shouted.  
  
"Rainbow Light Purification!" Rainbows shouted.  
  
"Balloon Grand Explosion!" Red Balloons shouted.  
  
The entire eastern wing of the palace exploded as the three dark   
powers combined into one blast, and the five Bishônen Warriors found   
themselves plastered against the walls. "Wasn't such a good idea to   
instigate them, was it?" Stars asked. "Jeez, Umakutsu, I never figured you   
to be so reckless! Looks, like I'll have to take this into my own hands.   
Shooting Stars!"  
  
Hearts and Blue Moons turned into energy and swirled around Stars to   
become his new armor and cape. "So that's where they went," Rainbows said.  
  
Shooting Stars raised his mace and pointed it at them. "Prepare to   
be destroyed!"  
  
However, Snap, Crackle and Pop rushed up from behind Shooting Stars   
and hit him over the head with their mallets simultaneously, knocking him   
out. "Looks like you're out of luck," Red Balloons said.  
  
"No, our luck is just warming up," Clovers said as he cracked his   
knuckles. He held up a large hat pin and smirked. "Now it's time for my   
power upgrade. Clover Hats!"  
  
The hat pin flashed, and Kurôbâ was consumed by green light. His   
outfit changed from armor into green vest, dress shirt, and a bowler hat   
adorned by a four-leafed clover. He twirled the hat pin around like a baton,   
and he pointed it at the enemy. "Clover Hat Pin!" he shouted.  
  
A beam of energy shot from the new weapon and struck down Red   
Balloons. Pots of Gold and Rainbows tried to strike, but Clover Hats easily   
fended them off; and with a blast from his weapons, Clover Hats dispatched   
them as well. Snap, Crackle and Pop ran off, not wanting any of what the   
Evil Bishônen Force had gotten.  
  
Clover Hats tipped his bowler at the fallen Evil Bishônen Force and   
smirked. "Jolly good show, but like I said, our luck is just warming up.   
We'll take our leave," he said.  
  
"Why?" Shooting Stars asked. "After all, with these three out of the   
way, what's keeping us from attack Trix Rabbit full force?"  
  
Blue Moons pointed down the hall at a huge horde of monsters and   
Cheerio Knights. "That's what," he said.  
  
"Well, let's go!" Hearts shouted. "They who fight and run away, live   
to fight another day!"  
  
"Come on, get some original lines," Horseshoes said.  
  
"Bite me."  
  
"I bet you'd like that."  
  
"I'm not gay!"  
  
Everyone started laughing as they ran through the ruined remains of   
the palace's east wing.  
  



	11. Who's With Who Now?

Bishônen Warriors  
Who's With Who Now?  
  
"We're home-free!" Hearts declared in glee.  
  
"Not quite," said a voice from behind them.  
  
The Bishônen Warriors turned to see Tony the Tiger standing behind   
them with a large axe in his hands. "Wow, it's Tony the Tiger!" Blue Moons   
exclaimed.  
  
"You five children have meddled enough with this world," Tony said,   
"and it's time for you to die."  
  
"Whoa, hold on, we're trying to free you!" Horseshoes shouted. "Trix   
Rabbit is the enemy, not us!"  
  
"Don't you get it? If you guys had never come here, then the Land of   
Cereals wouldn't be in the midst of a civil war. Everything would be   
perfectly fine, only under Trix Rabbit's insane rule."  
  
"And you find this perfectly okay?" Clover Hats asked.  
  
"He's been brainwashed by Trix Rabbit," Stars said.  
  
Tony charged forward and swung the axe as hard as he could. Hearts   
jumped aside, and Clover Hats met the blade with his hat pin. Stars joined   
in with his Mace, and Blue Moons swung with this sword. However, Tony   
managed to break the stalemate and knocked the three of them away. Hearts   
notched an arrow in his bow and let it fly. Tony was struck in the back, but   
was unfazed.  
  
"Horseshoe Kick Shock!" Horseshoes shouted as he rushed forward and   
delivered a powerful electric kick to the Tiger.  
  
Tony was thrown back into a wall and knocked out. "Let's go!" Clover   
Hats shouted. "We've gotta get outta here before they overwhelm us with   
their numbers!"  
  
Snap, Crackle and Pop jumped out of the darkness with their   
electro-mallets in hand. "Allow us!" Pop said as he swung the mallet into   
the wall.  
  
The three brothers continued through the hole and started demolishing   
a path to the outside wall of the palace. "Why are the helping us?" Blue   
Moons asked. "I thought they were the enemy."  
  
"Who knows," Hearts said. "Maybe they've had a change of faith."  
  
"Or maybe they're just trying to lead us into a trap," Stars pointed   
out.  
  
"What have we got to lose?" Horseshoes asked.  
  
"Uh, nothing really important aside from our lives," Clover Hats   
said. "But, then again, it's either follow them or try to find our own way   
out of this maze. They know the place a lot better than we do."  
  
Hearts took off after Snap, Crackle and Pop, and was soon followed by   
the other four Bishônen Warriors. Eventually, they made it to the outer wall   
and escaped the palace. "Thanks a lot, guys," Hearts said. "We owe you   
one."  
  
"Damn straight," Crackle said, "and we're going to hold that to you."  
  
  
Trix Rabbit fumed. With every passing day, he became more and more   
frustrated with the Bishônen Warriors. "Send out a monster!" he shouted.   
"And be sure to set the dial to 'Invincible!' Those children aren't going to   
win this time."  
  
However, there was no one else in the throne room to do it for him,   
so he got up and turned on the machine himself. There was a cacophony of   
bells, whistles and clanks, followed by a puff of smoke. The monster, which   
resembled a baker, stood up and saluted King Trix Rabbit. "Muffin Man, at   
your service!" it declared.  
  
"Kill the Bishônen Warriors at all costs," he said. "I don't care if   
you have to blow up my palace in the process, just do it!"  
  
"Of course, my Liege."  
  
Muffin Man charged off humming a familiar tune. Trix Rabbit put a   
hand to his forehead to keep the vein from constantly bulging. "I'll win   
yet... Just you wait and see, foolish children. No one messes with Trix   
Rabbit and lives to tell about it!   
Mwa-hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha!!!!!"  
  
His laughter rang through the castle, and the sound of it made Pots   
of Gold cringe as he regained consciousness. "Damn, that rabbit is one sick   
individual," he muttered as he stood up.  
  
"Well, what are we going to do about it?" Rainbows asked. "After   
all, it's not like he's controlling us. We could just kill him and take   
over."  
  
"Yeah right," Red Balloons said, "like the three of us could stand up   
to him. He's got some massive power. You saw what that bear did to us.   
Just think of what the rabbit can do."  
  
"I ask again, what are we going to do, then?"  
  
"We join the Bishônen Warriors," Pots of Gold said.  
  
"What?!" Red Balloons exclaimed. "But we're supposed to kill them!"  
  
"No, that's what the rabbit wants us to do."  
  
"I have to agree with Red Balloons on this one," Rainbows said.   
"Even if we join them, they're not going to trust us. We've tried to kill   
them three times already!"  
  
"It doesn't matter. We're going to join them, and that's final."  
  
"So, there you are," Muffin Man said as he came up behind the Evil   
Bishônen Force. "Are you ready to go kill the Bishônen Warriors?"  
  
The three bishônen looked at each other, then at the monster. "Yep,"   
Red Balloons said, "we sure are."  
  
  
When the Bishônen Warriors got back to the Fortress of Cereals, they found   
Sugar Bear sitting in a chair, smoking an opium pipe. "Oh yeah," he sighed   
as he blew out the smoke.  
  
"He's getting high again..." Blue Moons said.  
  
"I thought he was always high," Clover Hats said. "There are just   
times when he's higher than usual."  
  
"Makes sense," Horseshoes said.  
  
Lucky appeared in the window just above them, and he looked down at   
the Bishônen Warriors. "I hate to rain on your parade," he said, "but a   
monster and the Evil Bishônen Force are headed this way."  
  
"Dammit!" Stars shouted. "Just when we thought we'd won."  
  
"Don't worry about it," Hearts said. "We took care of them at the   
palace, and we can take care of them again on our own turf."  
  
"Here's your chance to prove it," Lucky said as he pointed at the top   
of the nearby hill, "because there they are."  
  
Everyone turned and looked to see the four figures standing at the   
top of the hill. "Well, we've got no choice, really," Clover Hats said.   
"Cheerio! Let's go for it!"  
  
"Do you know the muffin man who lives on Mulberry Lane?" shouted   
Muffin Man from the top of the hill.  
  
"Why do they always have some stupid theme?" Hearts asked as he and   
the others dashed up the hill.  
  
"Clover Lucky Deluge!" Clover Hats shouted.  
  
Green flood waters rose up and dragged Muffin Man and the Evil   
Bishônen Force down the hill toward the Bishônen Warriors. Hearts pulled out   
his bow and fired. Muffin Man took the shot in the chest, but remained   
unfazed by both attacks. He raised one arm and chucked a huge muffin at the   
Bishônen Warriors. "Starlight Dust Buster!" Stars shouted.  
  
The energy sparks were absorbed into the muffin, but they failed to   
stop it. Luckily for it, the muffin's landing was softened by Horseshoes'   
body. Rainbows looked to Pots of Gold. "Are we going to help them or not?"   
he asked. "They're getting their asses whupped!"  
  
Blue Moons went sailing through the air right past them, and Pots of   
Gold just kept watching. "You're the one who wanted us to defect," Red   
Balloons said. "So what do we do now?"  
  
"We wait," Pots of Gold said. "Who knows, maybe they'll win."  
  
"Gee, what a turn of events that would be," Rainbows said   
sarcastically.  
  
Hearts whirled around, and his bow shimmered out of existence. He   
stop and thrust out his arms. "Heart and Soul Shatter!" he shouted.  
  
The pink energy heart shot forward from between his hands and hit   
Muffin Man in the face. It exploded, but his face returned to its normal   
shape. "You can't defeat me!" Muffin Man shouted. "I'm invincible!"  
  
"Clover Hat Pin!" Clover Hats shouted.  
  
The beam of green light shot forward from the end of the hat pin and   
right through Muffin Man's stomach. The hole in the monster's body healed up   
soon afterward. Muffin Man hurled another muffin through the air, and it   
crushed Clover Hats under its weight.  
  
"Blue Moon Single Eclipse!"  
  
The sky turned dark, and a blue beam of energy shot down at Muffin   
Man. Of course, as every other attack before it, this attack had absolutely   
no effect in stopping the monster. "How the hell are we supposed to win?"   
Stars asked.  
  
"And what the hell are those three doing?" Hearts asked as he   
motioned to the three evil bishônen.  
  
"Uh oh, they've noticed," Red Balloons said.  
  
Pots of Gold pointed his hand forward. "Well," he started, "no need   
for them to get suspicious. Golden Munificence Surprise!"  
  
The golden beam of light shot forward and plowed into Hearts' chest,   
driving him back to the bottom of the hill. Muffin Man turned and smiled at   
Pots of Gold before taking on Stars, the last remaining Bishônen Warrior.   
"Shooting Stars!" Stars shouted.  
  
Hearts and Blue Moons disappeared, and Shooting Stars came into   
existence once more. "Comet Crater Rupture!" he shouted.  
  
"Does he think that'll work?" Rainbows asked.  
  
"Just humor them," Pots of Gold said.  
  
A huge rock dropped out of the sky and crushed Muffin Man beneath it.   
Then the rock exploded, creating a huge crater, in which Muffin Man rested   
at the bottom. He groaned and stood back up. "Prepare to die!" he shouted.  
  
"It's time. Rainbows, use your power to heal the others."  
  
"Rainbow Light Purification!" Rainbows shouted.  
  
Rainbow light filled the field and revived the fallen warriors.   
Shooting Stars reverted back to Stars, and Hearts and Blue Moons reappeared.   
"Use the Lucky Charms blast!" Pots of Gold shouted. "It's the only way to   
defeat an invincible enemy!"  
  
The eight bishônen surrounded Muffin Man, and he looked at the Evil   
Bishônen Force in shock. "Just what are you doing?" he exclaimed.  
  
"We're defecting," Red Balloons said. "Get over it."  
  
"Hearts!"  
  
"Stars!"  
  
"Horseshoes!"  
  
"Clover Hats!"  
  
"Blue Moons!"  
  
"Pots of Gold!"  
  
"And Rainbows!"  
  
"And the Red Balloons!"  
  
The bishônen thrust their hands forward at the monster. "We're   
frosted Lucky Charms!" they cried in unison. "And we're magically   
delicious!"  
  
A huge beam of light shot up from the ground beneath Muffin Man's   
feet, and he was incinerated as it soared high into the sky. When the beam   
dissolved, the Bishônen Warriors eyed their supposed enemies with unease.   
"Why'd you help us?" Clover Hats asked.  
  
"Because you needed it," Pots of Gold said. "And because we want to   
be on the winning side when this war is over."  
  
"So you're joining us?" Hearts asked.  
  
The three bishônen looked at each other, then back at the Bishônen   
Warriors. "No," Rainbows said. "It's every man for himself now."  
  
"However," Red Balloons said, "if you need help, we'll be there to   
provide it for you. As long as Trix Rabbit reigns, we are neither friends   
nor enemies. And once he falls, perhaps that can change."  
  
"Until then," Pots of Gold said, "we side with no one. Perhaps we'll   
see you during the final battle. And perhaps we'll never see each other   
again."  
  
The three rônin turned and walked on down the hills into the sunset.   
"Yeah, perhaps..." Hearts said.  
  
  
Trix Rabbit scowled when he received the news that his Evil Bishônen Force   
had decided to become the Neutral Rônin Force. "Then let the final battle   
begin right now," he said through gritted teeth. "I'll make sure that those   
children pay. This time, everything will be different. No more playing   
around. It's time to get serious."  
  
He walked over to his Random Monster-of-the-Week Generator and   
pressed the blue button. As madness gripped his mind, he started laughing   
hysterically, and he pressed the button repeatedly. Snap, Crackle and Pop   
watched from their secluded corner, and they scowled at the rabbit. "He's   
definitely lost it this time," Crackle said.  
  
"We should do something," Snap said.  
  
"Hey, Trix Rabbit, why you go so loco?" Pop asked.  
  
Snap and Crackle replied by smashing him over the head with their   
mallets. "That's enough out of you!" they cried in unison.  
  
When they looked back at Trix Rabbit, they saw the throne room   
starting to slowly fill with Monsters-of-the-Week, and they could only   
surmise one thing:  
  
He was serious this time.  
  
To be continued... 


	12. The Final Battle part 1: Changes...

Bishônen Warriors  
The Final Battle part 1: Changes...  
  
  
"We've got to do something," Snap finally said. "He's gone off the   
deep end, and he's going to take us with him."  
  
"He's too powerful for us to take on," Crackle said. "Besides, look   
at that army of Randomly-Generated-Monsters-of-the-Week! It's huge!"  
  
Indeed the army was huge. Well, huge as armies of   
Randomly-Generated-Monsters-of-the-Week go. In fact, it could be said that   
this army is the largest army of Randomly-Generated-Monsters-of-the-Week   
ever, since it was the first one ever. A little over a half-dozen monsters   
had gathered in the throne room. Among them were the likes of the Duke of   
Donuts, Prince Pastry, Bearclaws, Tony Toast, Waffle Ironer, Benedict Eggs,   
and Quaker Oats.  
  
"My minions," Trix Rabbit said, "the time for our victory is at hand.   
The Bishônen Warriors can't possibly survive an attack by all of you,   
especially since your strength settings were all set to 'Invincible!' So, my   
dark breakfast-related army, march forward to our conquest of the Land of   
Cereals!"  
  
All of the monsters shot their hands into the air and cheered. Snap,   
Crackle and Pop jumped out of the secluded corner and raised their   
electro-mallets. "You're gonna have to go through us first!" Pop shouted.  
  
Trix Rabbit sneered. "Do you truly think you can stop me now?" he   
asked. "It's a good thing that I never truly believed you were loyal to me.   
Don't think I didn't know that you helped the Bishônen Warriors escape this   
castle. For that, and for this, you shall die a most horrible death."  
  
The three brothers thrust their hands forward. "At least we'll take   
a few of you with us!" Snap shouted. "Snap!"  
  
"Crackle!"  
  
"Pop!"  
  
Their hands started glowing brightly. "Rice Crispies!" the three   
elfin cereal sprites cried in unison.  
  
Dozens of explosions dotted the room, but the monsters were undaunted   
as they closed in on Snap, Crackle and Pop. Trix Rabbit couldn't help but   
smile.  
  
  
"Yo homes, what's goin down here?" Sugar Bear asked as he walked into the war   
room of the Fortress of Cereals.  
  
Everyone looked up from the map table and gave him odd looks.   
"Anyway," Lucky said as they all went back to the map, "our best plan is to   
cut through Cinnamon Toast Crunch Canyon and attack the castle from behind.   
There's a secret entrance to my old laboratory there, and that's where we'll   
go in."  
  
"What if Trix Rabbit has already found it and sealed it off?" Hoshi   
asked.  
  
"Not possible. It's so secret that not even King Honey Bee knew   
about it. So, we can enter from there and strike Trix Rabbit while he's   
still planning his attack."  
  
"But what if he attacks us while we're attacking him?" Kurôbâ asked.  
  
"We just defeat his army," Shinzô said, taking over for Lucky. "You   
see, Trix Rabbit may be zealous, but he's not stupid. The last thing he's   
going to do is put himself in danger by leading his army into battle.   
Instead, he'll horde himself up inside the palace. Once his army is downed,   
we enter from the back and kill him with ease because he won't be expecting   
us to be able to get in."  
  
"Sounds simple enough," Aoi commented.  
  
"It is," Lucky said. "Well, are we ready to go?"  
  
"Of course!" Umakutsu said.  
  
"Then it's time for a Bishônen Lucky Charms roll call!" Shinzô   
declared. "Hearts!"  
  
"Stars!"  
  
"Horseshoes!"  
  
"Clover Hats!"  
  
"Blue Moons!"  
  
They all transformed into the Bishônen Warriors. "Well, looks like   
I'm not needed," Sugar Bear said as he headed for the door. "Peace!"  
  
"Hold on just a minute," Lucky said. "You're not getting off so   
easy. We're all in the same position here, Sugar Bear. You fight with us."  
  
"Do I have to?" Sugar Bear asked. "I just got a great stash, and--"  
  
"And nothing," Blue Moons said. "We all fight now, or we all die   
later."  
  
"What's to guarantee that's not going to happen is we all fight now?"   
Hearts asked.  
  
"Shut up," Stars reprimanded. "We don't need morbidity right now."  
  
"Let's go kick some ass!" Clover Hats declared.  
  
"That's the spirit," Lucky said.  
  
"Bishônen Warriors!" everyone shouted as they took flying leaps out   
of the nearby window.  
  
  
The Bishônen Warriors treaded carefully through Cinnamon Toast Crunch Canyon,   
so as to not bring attention to themselves by causing a rock slide. From up   
ahead, they heard the sound of many feet approaching, and they found hiding   
spots behind large boulders with Lucky and Sugar Bear. "Oh my God,"   
Horseshoes breathed, "how many freaking monsters can Trix Rabbit make?"  
  
"Seven, from the looks of it," Lucky replied.  
  
"Uh, sorry to put a damper on your plans, chaps," Clover Hats said,   
"but did you guys even make a plan for the possibility of Trix Rabbit being   
here?"  
  
Everyone looked ahead and saw Trix Rabbit marching behind his troops.   
"Ah crap," Hearts muttered.  
  
"I've got an idea," Stars said. "Why don't we run like hell?"  
  
"Because we're going to have to fight them anyway," Blue Moons   
replied. "We might as well do it here."  
  
"If only that damn Neutral Rônin Force were here to help us."  
  
They all paused a moment, expecting either Pots of Gold, Rainbows or   
Red Balloons to make a grand entrance and valiantly offer their services.   
However, it did not appear that would be happening any time soon. "Screw   
it," Hearts said, "let's just get this over with."  
  
"We should kind of formulate a plan first," Lucky pointed out.  
  
"Okay," Blue Moons said, "we'll take on the monsters with Sugar Bear   
while you take on Trix Rabbit."  
  
"Fine with--hey!"  
  
But it was too late, as the bishônen and the bear had already jumped   
out of their hiding places to attack. He just shook his head and stepped out   
from behind the boulder.  
  
Hearts had squared off against the Duke of Donuts; Stars with Prince   
Pastry; Horseshoes with Bearclaws; Clover Hats with Tony Toast; Blue Moons   
with Waffle Ironer; Sugar Bear with Benedict Eggs; and for the time being,   
Lucky fought to get past Quaker Oats.  
  
"I burn you!" Waffle Ironer shouted at Blue Moons.  
  
Trix Rabbit groaned. "I guess the intelligence goes when they get   
the strength," he muttered.  
  
"Yeah, whatever," Blue Moons said as he outstretched his hand. "Blue   
Moon Single Eclipse!"  
  
The sky darkened, and a blue beam of light shot down onto Waffle   
Ironer and singed him. Blue Moons pulled out his blade and started cutting   
into the waffle/waffle iron fusion. Sparks flew when metal met metal, but   
the most damage done were a few dents in Waffle Ironer's metal half. "Waffle   
Ironer burn now!" Waffle Ironer shouted.  
  
The monster's waffle iron half opened up and spewed flames. Blue   
Moons jumped out of the way of the blast, and the flames struck Bearclaws.   
Bearclaws turned around and fired a few spiral missiles in Waffle Ironer's   
direction. Horseshoes and Blue Moons watched in utter amusement as the two   
monsters started fighting amongst themselves. And since both were   
invincible, neither Monster-of-the-Week was able to get the upper hand.  
  
"Oh yeah!" Sugar Bear shouted as a golden beam of light crushed   
Benedict Eggs against the canyon wall.  
  
Benedict Eggs pulled out a sheet of parchment and unfolded it.   
"Wait, before you destroy me, let me give you my master's plans!" he cried.  
  
Trix Rabbit intervened by destroying the monster he had created,   
cursing himself for not realizing sooner that Benedict would pose problems.   
Sugar Bear grinned the patented Grin-grin of Happiness at Trix Rabbit, and   
Trix Rabbit scowled. "What the hell are you smiling at, loser?" he demanded.  
  
"I'm not smiling, I'm stoned," Sugar Bear replied.  
  
"Hold it right there, friend," Quaker Oats said.  
  
"You're not my friend," Lucky snapped back as he tried to push past   
the peaceful monster.  
  
"Please, can't we talketh about this? There must be better ways to   
getteth things done than through violence."  
  
Lucky gave Quaker Oats a mean right hook. "Get out of my way, you   
stupid monster!"  
  
Quaker Oats swung back, knocking Lucky to the ground. "Hey, isn't it   
against your religion to do that?" Lucky demanded.  
  
"Do you thinketh I care?" Quaker Oats asked as he rolled up his   
sleeves.  
  
Sugar Bear fired another golden beam, this time into Quaker Oats'   
back. The monster was driven into the canyon wall, and Sugar Bear helped   
Lucky up. "Go take care of that rabbit," Sugar Bear said.  
  
"Easier said than done," Lucky muttered.  
  
Hearts groaned in pain as he fell to the ground with a donut wrapped   
around him. The Duke of Donuts smiled darkly as he kicked the bishônen   
repeatedly. "Don't think you're too tough now, do you?" the Duke asked.  
  
"Heart and Soul Shatter!" Hearts shouted.  
  
Unfortunately, because of his position, the heart exploded underneath   
him and sent him flying up through the air. Moments later, he came crashing   
down upon Tony Toast, who had just gotten stabbed by Clover Hats' hat pin.   
"Cheerio!" Clover Hats declared.  
  
"Huh? Where?" Tony Toast asked, looking around for backup.  
  
"Time to get serious," Stars said as he backed away from Prince   
Pastry. "Shooting Stars!"  
  
Hearts and Blue Moons turned into energy and merged with Stars to   
become Shooting Stars. With a mighty swing of his mace, Shooting Stars sent   
Prince Pastry flying into Trix Rabbit. When Trix Rabbit recovered from the   
blast, he scowled and released a huge blast of energy. "Stupid monsters!" he   
shouted. "Your superior strength doesn't come close to making up for your   
incredible lack of recognizable intelligence!"  
  
All seven monsters were vaporized by the blast, and Trix Rabbit   
glared at the Bishônen Warriors. "It may look like I'm running away now, but   
believe me, I'm not," Trix Rabbit explained before he disappeared. "I'm   
simply regrouping to increase my advantage over you. So long, suckers!"  
  
Trix Rabbit's voice echoed as his physical form melted into the air.   
The Bishônen Warriors gathered together at the center of the canyon. "It   
looks like we might actually have a chance," Lucky said.  
  
"Then let's get going," Horseshoes said. "The ball is in our court,   
and it's time to play."  
  
To be continued...  



	13. The Final Battle part 2: You No Longer E...

Bishônen Warriors  
The Final Battle part 2: You No Longer Exist!  
  
Trix Rabbit threw test tubes, flasks and other breakable things   
everywhere as he rummaged through Lucky's laboratory. "Come on," he said in   
an annoyed tone, "there must be a Doomsday Device somewhere! Every mad   
scientist has one!" With an angry shout, he swept one arm across the nearest   
lab table and shattered everything on it. "Damn you, Lucky! Why can't you   
follow the proper cliché?!"  
  
As he whirled around, Trix Rabbit spied a glint in the far corner.   
"What have we here?" he asked as he approached the large, spherical object.   
He pulled the rest of the black tarp that covered it away and inspected the   
machine. Plastered on it was a label, and on the label, in large, yellow   
letters, were the words "Time Changer."  
  
Trix Rabbit smiled his maniacal smile as he eyed these words. "Very   
good," he said with a mad chuckle, "very good indeed..."  
  
  
Lucky put a hand to his face in disgust. "Aw, %$#@," he muttered.  
  
"What is it, dude?" Sugar Bear asked.  
  
"I just remembered that I left my most precious and powerful device   
in my lab. There's no doubt in my mind that Trix Rabbit is going to find it   
and use it on us."  
  
"And why did you have an all-powerful device anyway?" Hearts   
demanded.  
  
"It's a mad scientist rule," Lucky explained. "You see, as a mad   
scientist of sorts, it's my duty to create a Doomsday Device of sorts."  
  
"What does yours do?" Blue Moons asked.  
  
"Changes time. And if Trix Rabbit uses it, we're screwed."  
  
Horseshoes groaned. "Fine time to remember. And why exactly did you   
leave it there?" he demanded.  
  
"It was too heavy to carry," Sugar Bear commented. "At least, that   
was his excuse."  
  
"No matter," Lucky said as he pointed at the castle, "we're here."  
  
Stars, Clover Hats and Blue Moons pulled open the large,   
inconspicuous wooden door set into the gray cobblestone castle wall. Once   
the door creaked open, all manner of explosives were set off. Hearts coughed   
out smoke. "I believe your words were something along the lines of 'so   
secret even King Honey Bee didn't know about it'," he muttered.  
  
"Well, Trix Rabbit screwed our other plans," Lucky muttered, "so he   
might as well screw this one, too."  
  
"No matter, it's open, so we might as well go in," Stars said.  
  
The five warriors, the leprechaun, and the bear all stepped into the   
darkness beyond the entrance to the underground tunnel, not knowing what to   
expect now.  
  
  
Trix Rabbit sat on his throne, quite content with the large, spherical device   
resting beside the throne. "What a delightful little toy," he uttered in   
evil glee. "Remind me to thank Lucky for building it." He looked around,   
realizing that no one was going to answer, so he did it for them in their   
absence, "Of course, your Highness."  
  
The doors creaked open, and the Bishônen Warriors rushed in with   
Lucky and Sugar Bear in hot pursuit. "Are you prepared to die?" Clover Hats   
asked.  
  
"Because if you're not, then you'd better get ready," Horseshoes   
said.  
  
"I sort of implied that."  
  
"Fine, bite my head off, why don't you?"  
  
"Don't mind if I do."  
  
"Please," Trix Rabbit said, "there will be no more arguing in my   
throne room. In fact--" he motioned to the Time Changer "--there will be no   
more -you.- Farewell, you little annoying floaters." With that, Trix Rabbit   
stabbed the button on the machine, and the Time Changer emitted a huge pulse   
of white light. "In less than five minutes, you will no longer exist. Even   
if you manage to defeat me, the pulse caused by this machine will still   
change time and wipe you from the history of this world, thus restoring me.   
I'd say it's been a pleasure knowing you, but to be honest, it hasn't."  
  
Stars scowled. "You--" he started before being interrupted.  
  
"--Really know where it's at," Trix Rabbit finished with a smirk.   
"Don't waste your time trying to make stupid quips. Perhaps you should spend   
your last minutes of existence looking back on the wastes of time your lives   
have been."  
  
Lucky stepped forward and produced a small device. "Or they could   
just go back and prevent the pulse from doing anything," he said. "This   
device will allow them to do that."  
  
"Curse you and your devices that foil your other devices!" Trix   
Rabbit shouted.  
  
Suddenly, the three conveniently placed windows burst in, and the   
Neutral Rônin Force dropped in the throne room. "And we're here to help!"   
Red Balloons declared.  
  
"Yeah, nice timing," Blue Moons muttered.  
  
"We're busy people," Pots of Gold said, "so be glad we showed up at   
all."  
  
Lucky pressed the button, and the eight Bishônen Warriors started   
glowing as he started explaining, "All you need to do is destroy the monster   
that pulse will generate--"  
  
"How'd you know I'd send a monster?" Trix Rabbit demanded.  
  
Lucky produced the large manuscript entitled SCRIPT before   
continuing, "--and everything will be fine. When you get back, you can fight   
Trix Rabbit once and for all."  
  
"I'll just send another monster when they get back!" Trix Rabbit   
declared. "In fact, I'll do it now!"  
  
"Except that the device can't work again until after the time change   
has taken effect."  
  
"Curse you!"  
  
The Bishônen Warriors disappeared from the present time frame.  
  
  
"Whoa, trippy," Blue Moons murmured as the Bishônen Warriors reappeared no   
the same day that they were pulled into the Land of Cereals. Except for Blue   
Moons and the Neutral Rônin Force, but that has no need for explanation.  
  
Shinzô walked into the dining room and stared at the eight armor-clad   
teens before walking in the kitchen, shaking his head and muttering   
something. When he returned, he sat down and opened the box of Lucky Charms.   
However, instead of a hand reaching out and pulling him in, Trix Rabbit   
jumped out with a large sword. "Trix Rabbit?!" Rainbows exclaimed.  
  
"Of course!" Trix Rabbit said. "I'd rather do my own dirty work when   
it comes to something as important as this!"  
  
He raised the sword, but Hearts fired his bow and knocked the blade   
from Trix Rabbit's paw. Trix Rabbit turned on the warriors. "Fine, it looks   
like I'll have to take care of you before I can finish my business here," he   
muttered. A rainbow blast of oranges, raspberries, grapes, limes, lemons,   
wildberries and watermelons shot through the air and struck down the   
Bishônen Warriors. Pots of Gold raised his pot and fired a golden beam from   
it. Blue Moons added a beam of his own, as did Stars. Trix Rabbit took the   
brunt of the force in his chest, but that did not stop him.  
  
"Horseshoe Kick Shock!" Horseshoes shouted as he dashed forward.  
  
Trix Rabbit caught Horseshoes' foot in his paws and threw the teen   
into the nearest wall with a sickening thud. A rainbow boomerang cut through   
the air and slashed into Trix Rabbit's back. He reached behind himself and   
pulled the boomerang from his back before relaunching it at its owner.   
Rainbows was powerless to stop the weapon and found himself pinned to the   
wall as the boomerang pierced his shoulder and drove him back.  
  
Shinzô blinked a few times. "I've really gotta stop eating calamari   
before going to bed," he muttered.  
  
Trix Rabbit picked up his sword, and he, Blue Moons, and Clover Hats   
started to duke it out. Stars joined in with his mace, but was easily driven   
from the battle. Clover Hats fired a beam from his weapon, but Trix Rabbit   
deflected it and took down Blue Moons in the process.  
  
"Red Balloon Grand Explosion!" Red Balloons shouted.  
  
Everyone tried to stop him, but it was too late. Red Balloons not   
only knocked himself out, but he also drove Pots of Gold and Horseshoes from   
the battle, leaving only Clover Hats, Hearts and Trix Rabbit standing. Trix   
Rabbit took one swing, and Clover Hats was taken down.  
  
Hearts raised his bow. "Come now, you don't expect to destroy me   
with that, do you?" Trix Rabbit scoffed. "If that's the case, I pity you."  
  
The pink arrow pierced Trix Rabbit's chest, and he looked down at the   
projectile protruding from his torso. With a laugh, he looked back up at   
Hearts. "You see what I mean?" he asked with another chuckle.  
  
"You won't destroy us," Hearts said. "I won't allow it."  
  
"Your friends have all been defeated, boy. Come off your high horse   
and admit defeat."  
  
"Never." A pink heart appeared between Hearts' hands. "Heart and   
Soul Shatter!"  
  
The heart shot forward and exploded against Trix Rabbit's body,   
throwing him into the wall. His stood up again, seemingly unharmed, and   
laughed some more. Hearts produced his bow again, and three pink sugar   
arrows flew through the air, finding targets adjacent to the arrow in Trix   
Rabbit's chest. "So, are you using some power of friendship and love to do   
this?" Trix Rabbit asked. "Are you one of those preachy crap kind of   
people?"  
  
Another arrow imbedded itself in Trix Rabbit's chest, and blood   
started dripping from the corner of his mouth. "Yeah, that must be it," he   
said, "your friends are helping you through their moral support and by   
channeling their special powers into you. Am I right?"  
  
Hearts shook his head. "You don't need all that crap," he said.   
"You just need some kickass power-ups and really good aim."  
  
The Heart Bow expanded, becoming as long as Hearts was tall. His   
arrows lengthened accordingly. Three more arrows were fired, and Trix Rabbit   
dropped to his knees. Hearts' armor expanded, becoming more cloth-like, and   
it now draped over his entire body. A headband with a heart on it appeared   
on his head, and a pink visor formed over his eyes. His bracers expanded   
into larger gauntlets, and boots appeared on his legs. "Kickass power-ups,"   
Trix Rabbit sputtered.  
  
"Damn straight," Hearts said, "for now you'll feel my true power, the   
power of Broken Hearts!" Broken Hearts' hands started glowing, and he closed   
his eyes. "Broken Heart Retribution!"  
  
Trix Rabbit found himself trapped inside a sphere of pink light. The   
energy surrounding him started eating away at his body. He screamed in   
agony, but each movement just caused more pain. Broken Hearts turned away as   
Trix Rabbit slowly dissolved. The white light surrounded everyone, and they   
returned to the Land of Cereals.  
  
  
"What an odd turn of events," Lucky said. "I never would've thought Trix   
Rabbit would actually set the machine to send himself back in time just after   
the Bishônen Warriors went back. I guess this script was inaccurate."  
  
The Bishônen Warriors appeared alongside the skeleton of Trix Rabbit.   
"He's dead now," Shinzô said.  
  
"Say, where did that power come from?" Niji asked.  
  
"Plot contrivance," Lucky said. "They're all over the place. Hearts   
was lucky that he happened to stumble into one at that moment in time."  
  
"Uh, where'd our armor go?" Tsubo asked.  
  
"You're no longer the Bishônen Warriors," Sugar Bear said. "You've   
gone back to being regular teens now that Trix Rabbit is gone."  
  
"Finally," Hoshi said.  
  
"You're telling me," Umakutsu said.  
  
"I was just getting to like it," Aoi said softly.  
  
"At any rate, you can all go home now," Lucky said.  
  
A portal opened up, and the teens went through it one by one. Shinzô   
was the last one to go through, and he looked back and smiled at Lucky and   
Sugar Bear. "See you guys around," he said.  
  
"Sure, little dude," Sugar Bear said as he whipped out his syringe.  
  
"Let's hope you never have to come back," Lucky said. "For our   
sake."  
  
Shinzô nodded, and the portal closed behind him.  
  
  
The sun shone through the window and into Shinzô's eyes, waking him up. He   
yawned and looked over at his clock. It was the same day it had been when he   
was pulled into the Land of Cereals. He went down into the kitchen and did   
not find it odd that no one else was home. He pulled down the box of Lucky   
Charms and stared at it warily. "Should I...?" he asked himself.  
  
Fighting any scruples, he opened the box and looked down into it.   
Nothing but cereal. With a resigned sigh, he pulled out a bowl and sat down   
at the table. Before he poured the cereal, he glanced into the box one last   
time. Far below, Lucky and Sugar Bear looked up and waved. Shinzô put the   
box down and stared at it.  
  
"I've really gotta start eating something else," he finally said.   
"Lucky Charms can't possibly be good for me."  
  
The End  
  
At long last, Bishônen Warriors has come to an end. However, do not fret,   
they will return again someday. Maybe even in another series. However,   
there will always be the little short side-stories that I might write, just   
to include all the monsters I couldn't fit into the series. Until they   
return, enjoy the other stories here. And if you have anything to say, just   
e-mail me at Mefathiel@aol.com. Au revoir until the next adventure... 


End file.
